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Mental health

Struggling

6 replies

BossyOfficerFlossie · 20/06/2016 14:14

Not really sure what I am looking for here but need to vent. Long history of problems with food, binging and purging, bit of an exercise obsession, low end of normal weight. Keep it better in check when pregnant but gets more out of hand when I am low. Am very anxious but have some strategies that help. Poor impulse control generally esp with finances, nothing major but a small amount of credit card debt from buying utter junk that I really don't need. Again gets worse when I am low. OH had an emotional affair last year when we were just engaged and trying for plus having early scans of much wanted baby number three. I found out when very pregnant, we tried to work through it but then it got parked. Once baby here and things settled a bit the revelations about the affair began to really play on my mind again so we are once again trying to work through things. Once again very low, binging and purging daily, and struggling to stem my eBay habit, which I need to fix as mat pay only goes so far. No formal treatment ever and not even sure what needs treating, the eating? The spending? The anxiety? The depression ? Feel like an utter fucking mess but still outwardly holding it together.

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BossyOfficerFlossie · 20/06/2016 14:21

Oh yes, and his fling was with a psychologist locally who works on couples counselling, anxiety and depression, eating disorders etc, and who sent me a lovely email couched as an apology but in which she basically said that their fling prompted her to have lots of lovely therapy, personal and professional, and her marriage and self esteem have never been better. Think it has rather put me off psychologists for the moment. And I know my GP very well but not just because she is my GP, so it all feels like a real hurdle to talk to anyone.

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BossyOfficerFlossie · 22/06/2016 14:17

Bump... Please x

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bluebell34567 · 25/06/2016 13:39

hi BossyOfficerFlossie,
your life seems a bit complicated and you sound stressed and depressed. yeah it is sometimes a hurdle to talk to anyone.
have you seen your gp and told her how you feeling?
I think some kind of support like ads would help you.
wishing you good luck.

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BossyOfficerFlossie · 25/06/2016 14:03

Thanks for your reply. Not seen my GP about this. I sort of have links t her through work too so it is a bit of a barrier to letting her see what a total mess I am at the moment. Definitely stressed and probably depressed. Would like to sort my life out rather than end up on meds but they may well help. Just need to work out how I have that conversation.... And some stuff like the food probably needs more talking about. The affair can't be helped by anyone but us I guess.

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bluebell34567 · 25/06/2016 14:18

is it possible to see another dr?

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BossyOfficerFlossie · 25/06/2016 14:56

I can I think. Small practise in a small village so although I know it would t be talked about inappropriately it doesn't feel that private. And talking about it all irl makes it real. Externally I usually look like I am coping wonderfully so admitting to being this much of a mess is difficult. I intermittently convince myself it is all fine really and I am just making a fuss about nothing and should man up and get on with things.