Just after some help really. I've been feeling really low recently and am just wondering whether it's worth bothering a GP about. As background, my husband left me weeks after our third child was born after a fair few months of build-up and uncertainty; we are now divorced and have a very good co-parenting relationship, and I have been fine ever since but on the look out for it catching up with me (family and personal history of depression). So I don't know whether I'm reading more into it than there is because I'm aware of the possibility, or whether I'm just tired/hormonal etc.
Here's some of what I've been feeling:
*Low, and very very tired (my children don't sleep well but it's been better recently than it has been in the past so no reason why I should be feeling more tired than I was then)
*very irritable - my fuse is very short
*find it difficult to actually relax and have fun with the children. I always feel like there's something that needs doing so I rarely kick back and laugh with them.
*feel like crying - even over tiny things like when the toddler grabs my legs because she's tiny and just wants a cuddle - but I feel like this is too much to cope with and I want to cry.
*can't cry. I'm not a crier anyway particularly, but however much I want to it just doesn't come out.
*rejection over silly things - a friend cancelled supper plans today and didn't answer text messages: even though I knew IWBU my mind kept telling me that it was because she didn't want to spend time with me. (She's actually lost her phone and has no idea I was getting all paranoid). Same with my mother not answering the phone today. And same with meeting some prospective university colleagues yesterday: I felt totally that I would not be accepted (I'm 20 years older) and liked. I feel like I have slipped back to ancient convictions that people only spent time with me because they felt they had to and not because they actually wanted to.
*just like I can't really keep coping tbh.
I've not said anything to anyone because it all feels very overdramatic and I sound silly saying anything aloud, and also because since XH left I've been told so much how well I've coped and dealt with everything and I don't really want to admit that actually I may well not be - and it's over 2 years later so I should have got over it all by now anyway.
Sorry about the essay. Feels good to get it down, even though I have no idea what to do about it. It may pass, yes? When I get some sleep....
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Mental health
Is this worth seeing a doctor?
10 replies
WhyASpoon · 13/06/2016 20:21
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