Anxiety/depression? How to get the help I need

[FairySouth]

I have a doctors appointment in the morning to discuss my anxiety (well that's what I think it is) but I am not sure what I will get from a gp visit so wonder why I am bothering. Maybe there's nothing wrong and I am wasting their time?

Back story....

Had depression several years ago but am generally a very negative person with low self esteem.
Originally I had meetings with a mental health nurse which helped a bit but I still find I fluctuate although not diagnosed as depressed or gone to gp about it since.

Cut to 11 months ago when dh had an emotional affair and there were a lot of lies that broke me.
Then dh lost his job and I was now the breadwinner, a mum to a toddler, doing all the housework, budgeting food, cutting back on finances, it felt like everything. Dh was depressed (and still is) so I felt alone (no family or friends near by) taking on all the weight of our family whilst trying to cope with my own pain.

Paid for counselling privately and I think I just closed off and started to lie about fixes and progress as the sessions continued and moved forward. I don't know why. Guess it's a defence thing? Maybe I'm scared what opening up will reveal? I really don't know.

Anyway I digress... As soon as the counselling ends life reverts back to the same old up and down.
For the past 6 months of dh being unemployed I have felt the pressure immensely. I am now at a stage where I don't really enjoy much, am always exhausted, can't get to sleep, either feast or famine with my food, pick the skin around my nails, get periods of pins and needles in my hand (never had before), have melt downs at home where I freak out and then cry, my marriage is suffering, I continuously worry and ruminate, my mind just won't stop thinking and writing and planning what I can to get by, I have lost focus at work.
However life continues and I am able to function in society.

Am i right that I might be suffering from anxiety (maybe mixed with depression) and is the gp visit going to help.
Im trying mindfulness but struggle relaxing to do it.
I don't want to try counselling again if I'm honest. What with supporting dh, being a mum, full time job and trying to run the house whilst also trying not to push dh any further into depression (which I feel I am doing a poor job of), I just don't have time and I think it would cause me more stress.
Will the gp be able to provide anything?

What can I say that will focus in on what I need/want?
I fully expect that they will say let's see how you go with mindfulness or something, and come back if you think things are getting worse (it's happened before) I am a pushover and self doubter, so in my head that will turn into "the gp says I'm fine let's not bother them again and pretend everything is ok" Then it will be me "coping" again until I pluck up the courage to see the gp in 6 months/a years time and the cycle will continue.

[girlsmum1510]

You need to tell him everything you've written there - he can't help you unless he genuinely knows.

I told my GP the lot last week and he has been very supportive.

Be honest with him to help yourself.

You sound like you are doing an amazing job in very difficult circumstances xx

[FairySouth]

Thank you.
The gp has prescribed fluoxetine to see if that will help me with my issues.
The doctor was actually lovely and very supportive and asked my thoughts on the various options. He's given me some information for sources of additional help and I'll see him in 2 weeks just to check I'm not having too many side effects.