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To think my family is better of without me?

(62 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

TerriHatchet Mon 30-May-16 19:22:37

Posted a few days ago about my pnd. Cried all day today and even thought about running away and starting a new life , my dd and Dp would be happier without me. I am a rubbish mum and even worse partner.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 30-May-16 19:24:20

I don't think they would. If you need to talk, have you given Samaritans a ring? smile We're not able to give 1-2-1 attention online.

SweetieDrops Mon 30-May-16 19:24:25

I'm sure that isn't true. Please make an appointment with your GP tomorrow, and if you need to talk to someone tonight phone the Samaritans.

Libitina Mon 30-May-16 19:24:35

Have you told anyone this? Please seek help. No one will judge you flowers

DropYourSword Mon 30-May-16 19:24:52

I think everybody can feel that way at times. It's not true though. I'm sure your DD loves you very much and would miss you incredibly.

Buzzardbird Mon 30-May-16 19:26:32

They will definitely not be better off. Have you any idea what it does to a child when their parent leaves them?
Get some help.

Libitina Mon 30-May-16 19:26:59

Samaritans phone number is 116 123 if you're in the UK OP.

TerriHatchet Mon 30-May-16 19:27:18

She's 15 mo and has been sick all day all I've done is washing clothes, carpets etc. Me and Dp fought and I'm so tired and sad. If I left tonight she wouldn't even remember me.

awhfuck Mon 30-May-16 19:28:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorldOfMeh Mon 30-May-16 19:28:02

You are being unreasonable and I hope that you know that on some level. I haven't tead your other thread: have you seen a GP or health visitor- what support are you getting?

Libitina Mon 30-May-16 19:28:21

If you left tonight, where would you go?

PurpleDaisies Mon 30-May-16 19:28:52

Even if she didn't remember you she'd have to deal with the fact you'd left her.

Seek help-the Samaritans are lovely and won't judge you.

PurpleDaisies Mon 30-May-16 19:30:32

Posted too soon-it's so difficult to see things as they really are when you're depressed. Have you had any help? Your GP will be sympathetic and able to start you off on your way to feeling better. flowers

bibbitybobbityyhat Mon 30-May-16 19:32:33

What treatment are you having for your pnd?

Ring your GP by 8 tomorrow morning and request an urgent appointment for you.

In the meantime there is The Samaritans if you have no one else to talk to but, really, isn't there any friend or relative who knows how you feel?

TerriHatchet Mon 30-May-16 19:32:49

I love my dd and Dp so much and I hate myself for not being the best mum and Dp to them

IWasBeingAffable Mon 30-May-16 19:34:35

Of course YABU, you're the centre of their world and even though she doesn't remember this stage, you're still shaping who she will become.

Nobody is at their best after a day of clearing up vom, be kinder to yourself and get to the doctor asap, so you can be OK and start enjoying things again.

Buzzardbird Mon 30-May-16 19:35:44

You're wrong, she will blame herself. Trust me, as a grandchild of a woman that did that I can tell you that it screws up the lives of generations.
Sort out your problems, that is the easy way.

Magstermay Mon 30-May-16 19:41:16

I've felt exactly as you do and thought about leaving. I didn't. Believe me it will get better - it is totally normal to fight with your partner when you are both stressed and tired, and trust me your DD will be much better off with you. To her you are the best Mummy in the world - you've just spent all day clearing up after her, that's an amazing thing to do for someone else.
Please ring a close friend/ family member or the Samaritans tonight to have a talk about it, or if you really feel you need a break can you stay with someone tonight?
Go and see your GP tomorrow, get an urgent appointment. My GP was so understanding, they can help you flowers

Libitina Mon 30-May-16 19:42:10

You are the best Mum and DP that you can possibly be at this time and they love you for that. Please try to talk to someone in RL tonight or ring Samaritans if you can't.
Ring your GP first thing tomorrow and ask for an urgent appointment. If necessary, tell them you spoke to the Samaritans tonight.

TerriHatchet Mon 30-May-16 19:43:48

I feel like things have gotten as bad as they can. I feel like I'm at a dead end and I can't take anymore.

BlancheBlue Mon 30-May-16 19:44:44

Have you talked to your DP?

PurpleDaisies Mon 30-May-16 19:45:20

You don't need to decide anything tonight. Is your partner there? Can you tell them how you're feeling?

Buzzardbird Mon 30-May-16 19:47:30

What is so bad? All babies get ill sometimes. Is it a relationship problem?

crankyblob Mon 30-May-16 19:48:48

depression is complicated so I won't even patronise you by pointing out that this is the depression talking.

All I will say is this is how I felt while I had depression. It clouded my judgement and I only ever focused on the negative. Every night I would judge myself based on my own idea of what a "perfect" mum should be. The fact is I am a perfect mum because my kids would not want any other and I am sure the same goes for your DD. I bet you have done so much right today but just can't see it at the moment. I promise you, with the right help the cloud can lift and you can learn to enjoy life again.

She's been sick today and you have cleaned her clothes and the carpets, sounds like a good think to me.

Take one day at a time and don't be too harsh with yourself. I still get to the end of the day and wonder how I could have been a better mum (some days I know I could have been better) but you made it through and didn't leave and tomorrow is another day flowers

DropYourSword Mon 30-May-16 20:01:48

If things are as bad as they can be then things won't get worse. You won't ever be a perfect mum or partner so don't put that pressure on yourself. Be happy with 'good enough'. And trust me, your DD will think you are perfect. She might not 'remember' you long term, but she would absolutely miss you now. Think of how her little face lights up when she sees you!

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