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OH can't cope with my depression anymore.

(2 Posts)
whozit Sat 28-May-16 13:48:24

I've been really poorly with my mental health recently, I had a really bad bout of depression last summer but gradually got better, I went of my anti depressants (stupidly) because I thought I was better at the end of last year.
Me and OH were supposed to be moving to be closer to my family (80 miles away) because where we live now we have no support, his family also live around 80 miles away. We have a three year old with autism and severe speech delay, though he is quite high functioning in other areas.
OH told me on Thursday he wasn't happy and is moving to be closer to his parents instead. They have money and businesses he can work in so will he will be fine living there. I however am left with nothing. I spent the last of my savings £10,000 on putting him through a college foundation degree that he isn't even going to use now.
He is living because I make him miserable, my anxiety and inability to do things in my own has made him miserable he feels like he 'lives to serve me' I'm lazy because the house is over tidy and spoil our son with attention.
A lot of this is true but not to the extent he is suggesting, I had been getting better again.
I quit my job at his request to concentrate on getting better and on our son.
Anyway I don't know what to do, I'm staying at my mum's and will have to live here now as I have no money or job.
I'm really struggling, I can't cope, I just want to turn my head off but I can't, I have only been sleeping for a few hours here and there. I am absolutely dreading my mum going back to work on Tuesday because even though my son will be with me, I know I'll be sucked into my own head. My head is killing me, my heart feels like it's beating be really quick and heavily, I'm not eating and I feel constantly sick.
I don't know what to do sad I can't cope with it and I just want it to stop. Im not suicidal or thinking about harming myself because I want to be here for my son, I just don't know how to cope, I'm so exhausted.

NanaNina Sat 28-May-16 22:29:56

Oh you poor love. I think your OH sounds very selfish and maybe you're better off without him, though I know that's not how you feel at the moment. Is he your son's birth-father - if so he will have to pay maintenance for him. What about the house - was it rented - and the furniture and white goods - what's happening to all that. I know these are all practical issues but you are going to need your share for when you get your own place. And he should definitely repay the 10K you very generously forked out for him - that's an awful lot of money and you can't afford to just let it go. He's going to be well off financially from what you say so he should pay you back. You will be able to claim Income Support as you have a child under 5 and maybe for longer for a child with special needs.

I'm a bit curious as to why you are with your mom (even though that seems to be a good idea) given he didn't say all this until Thursday. Did you just up and leave? I don't want to add to your distress but do you think he was AW - it's just that there often is when they make these "announcements"

I'm so sorry he is saying all this stuff about your mental health issues. I know the torment of depression as have been suffering on and off for 6 years and my DH is incredibly supportive. God only knows what I'd do if he wasn't..........we need support and understanding more than ever when we have mental illness.

It sounds like you are suffering from anxiety now which is causing your symptoms, as you are no doubt worried about your future. Can you stay with your mother for as long as you need to. I wasn't sure what you meant by being "sucked into your own head" when your mom goes to you mean the negative thoughts will just keep going round in your head.

Take care and remember things will sort out - one step at a time - and don't come off the meds again! You will need to register with a GP won't you and find out what help may be available for your son.

I'll keep a watch on your thread.

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