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I don't want to do this anymore

(11 Posts)
peasandpudding Mon 16-May-16 20:50:45

Name changed as dd knows my user name.
I am just done
I'm tired
I don't want to do this anymore
Ten years of abusive ex
Left when dd was a toddler
Dd has some additional needs, she is a teen, I'm exhausted, no one helps me, dd talks to me like utter shit and is mentally and physically abusive.
I have begged for help and camhs have been rubbish
I don't want to leave her but neither do i want to live this none life of walking on egg shells anymore.
I am sick of feeling afraid.

Spangletangle Mon 16-May-16 21:07:57

You don't want to leave dd and I'm very sure dd doesn't want you to leave her. You need a break from her though.You need to tell your own gp how awful you are feeling.and how bad things have got. Samaritans if you feel you need them tonight and go to gp tomorrow.

If camhs are not helpful, make a complaint. Are there any advocacy services near who could help you? What about social services?

Spangletangle Mon 16-May-16 21:10:22

How old is dd?

peasandpudding Mon 16-May-16 21:16:02

Dd spends all her time telling me she hates me and I am worthless and pathetic and she is leaving anyway. The worst thing is a tiny part of me wishes she would.

I went to the gp who is determined to find a health reason (thyroid/blood tests etc) rather than acknowledge i have been through 20 years of hell plus serious illness and haven't slept more than four hours a night in years.

Spangletangle Mon 16-May-16 21:52:05

Well it's no wonder, that sounds awful.

Have you to go back to the Gp? Did you ask about counselling or anything? Local women's aid might be able to point you in the right direction if this is what you want.

princessbeer Mon 16-May-16 21:56:24

All of that sounds really tough.
And you sound amazing.
Don't give up now.
There are good professionals & organisations out there who can help you & your daughter.
Can you get a break?
Things can improve with support & things will get better.
Posting here is a bloody positive start.

ProfessorPreciseaBug Tue 17-May-16 07:12:02

She sounds like a typical female mutant from planet teenage...

The problem being you have to deal with her on your own and hold down a job to pay the bills. .. soyou are tired whilst she can focus on being a hormonal teenager.. You could call her bluff and pack her bags for her?

YorkshirePanda Tue 17-May-16 07:42:57

I am concerned that she is being physically abusive along with everything else.
It's important you know that you are a wonderful human being who's patience and inner strength knows no bounds. Because she is your daughter her words hurt more, it's possible she's saying those things because that is how she feels about herself.
However please look at the mind website they have some really good information and can pass you on to the right teams. I used a team in West Yorkshire for teenagers and young adults, and to be honest the team and unit saved my life.
Also if you tell your doctor that your daughter is being physically abusive and you need help from the local mental health team, they should as a competent doctor refer you and if not demand a second opinion till you get what you need and want.

I really hope you get the help you need for your daughter. You're doing a terrific job, remember it's not you it's her.

peasandpudding Tue 17-May-16 08:38:24

I have been waiting to see Camhs again for eight months for an initial appointment with camhs for her. We saw them years ago. I have been back to the GP and chased. Just massive waiting list where we live.

No one will help us.
No one to give me a break

princessbeer Tue 17-May-16 23:25:40


princessbeer Wed 18-May-16 08:36:25

Op, I think it'd be good if this thread was moved over to relationships for more traffic & advice

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