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Newly diagnosed depression - Can't bear DH touching me. Is this normal?

(3 Posts)
StonedBingo Mon 16-May-16 14:46:33

Hello. I'm in my forties and for the first time in my life have been diagnosed with depression. After 20 years of busying myself with demanding work, house and 2 DCs both myself and my husband lost our jobs at the beginning of the year. DH then took over a lot of the DC and home-related tasks to keep himself busy. This left me feeling very anxious around money and pretty worthless as well as leaving my 'normally buzzing at 100 miles an hour' brain empty to start obsessing and it all turned into depression.

To add to this, over the last few months I have stopped feeling any affection whatsoever to my DH. It has got to the point where I physically flinch when he tries to touch me and I lie in bed at night just being irritated by his physical presence next to me, fighting the urge to tell him to go away. He hasn't done anything to deserve this and has gone from being upset and feeling rejected to just plain cross and miserable. He knows about the depression but feels like he should be able to at least physically comfort me but even a caring hand on the arm is met with a 'sorry, I can't bear you touching me'. Can I tell him that this is normal and he should just bear with me? How do I know that it will get better? Is it possible that it's not related to the depression and I'm just not 'in love' with him any more?

At the moment, I honestly don't think I would care if he walked out and left me alone. Which is so sad.

mugginsalert Mon 16-May-16 21:18:16

Hi Stoned, didn't want to just read and run. Sorry you're having such a difficult time. Depression can definitely affect physical desire. It also sounds like your energy levels might be all over the place, your self esteem and your long held image of yourself and your dh have also taken a real knock over the past year, so it really wouldn't be surprising if that aspect of yourself was also affected. What you're feeling sounds really normal and as you find some peace with the changes in your life, or find new things to do with your time, this part of it will improve as well. Be kind to yourself in the meantime, don't expect yourself to just carry on as normal when so much has changed for you.

StonedBingo Tue 17-May-16 15:48:27

Thanks mugginsalert that's really helpful.

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