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In a vicious cycle

(1 Post)
Mentalmummydoes Thu 12-May-16 23:01:15

Hey MN'ers,

I'm confused and want to reach out in the hope someone can shed some light and honesty with me.

A few years ago I gave birth to an extremely premature baby who spent 6 months in hospital, when baby come home it didn't end there and there were lots of complications but I lost all of my friends from school. Friends i thought were lifelong friends.

I pretend I don't care, and remind myself every day of the things they've said and done and try to be logical but in all honesty I'm confused. And whilst reminding myself of what they've done helps it also feels like a battering to remind myself every day!

I feel very lonely, but also don't want to make new friends?! It's really annoying. I struggle badly with trust issues and I put it down to that. I also feel like I let my child being born so early define who I am? Is that normal? Like I can't meet someone new without saying to them 'my baby was born at 25 weeks' like that's all there is to me?

I just wondered if anyone can relate? Or have any words of wisdom?

Thanks in advance xxx

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