slipping again

[Idano1987]

Hi

I've recently been diagnosed with bipolar 2 (currently rapid cycling). After years of being misdiagnosed with major depression I finally saw a community psychiatrist who listened to me and my husband. Now I'm going through med changes to try and get stable.

I have 2 children (4 and 7 months) and really worry about the effect I have on them. I was in hospital for 2 weeks a few months ago while having a major depression episode. It's a place I will never go back to voluntarily (I had a horrible time). My son struggled to understand what was going on. My sons school are referring him to a educational psychologist for the problems he is having with learning. I feel like it's my fault and I've messed him up.

I also have a caf meeting next week with my care coordinator, hv and so on. I am getting really worried about it. I keep thinking that I will lose my children because I'm not stable enough. Im definitely crashing again but getting scared to admit it to the people that could help. The same thoughts as last time are creeping back. Everything that's happened over the last few weeks has been very overwhelming.

Any thoughts or advice would be great thanks.

[runnerselbow]

Hi Idano, have you tried speaking to someone at Samaritans? I know it can sometimes feel a bit scary telling people you know how you feel, so perhaps just verbalising your feelings with someone anonymous and with a sympathetic ear could help you feel a little more in control? You haven't messed up your son, sounds like you've had a difficult time and you're doing brilliantly coping with 2 young kids and the stresses and strains of a 7 month old. Sending a hug and

[NanaNina]

Hello there - if you're going through med changes, it's to be expected that you will feel symptoms again. It's shocking that you were misdiagnosed for so many years. When you say rapid cycling, do you mean weeks of feeling depressed followed by weeks of an elated mood, as that's my understanding of rapid cycling though I'm no medic.

You have a lot on your plate with a 4 month old and a 4 year old. Please don't worry about losing your children as that won't happen. I am a retired social worker with some 30 years experience in children's services and children are only removed if there is evidence that they are suffering significant harm. They might be able to offer you some support and I imagine that's what the meeting is about. And 4 is far too young to be concerned about problems with learning - children develop at different rates and I can't imagine why they are referring him to an ed psych.

Please tell your GP/Psychiatrist/CPN if you have one about how you are feeling. They will be able to review the meds/dosage which hopefully will prevent you getting any worse.