Mum's separation anxiety

[TormundGiantsbabe]

I developed anxiety following the death of my mum, this manifested itself by making me dread leaving ds with anyone else, bar Dh, which made going to work tough. I began to hate my job. I discovered I was pregnant with dd and during the pregnancy my anxiety soared and I ended up signed off with stress as I was becoming so distressed worrying about ds while I wasn't with him. I had Dd and I felt so much better being at home with my children. I gave up my job. Dd is now 18 months and I have never left her with anyone aside from Dh. I know this isn't great but it wasn't a problem as I didn't need to go anywhere.

However, I'm now thinking that my previous happiness was somehow false because I was only happy because I was effectively shutting out the problem. Now I'm faced with the reality that I want to be able to do a bit of work, but my anxiety is stopping me. I can't put Dd in childcare, I worry too much. Ds is in school which I'm fine with (oddly).

Being afraid to be away from your children isn't normal is it? I don't know how I can get past this though.

[TormundGiantsbabe]

Bump... has anyone felt similar?

[Haggisfish]

I have, but not to the same extent. Have you been to gp and asked for counselling? It would probably help to unpick how and why it has been triggered by your mums death.

[TormundGiantsbabe]

Thanks haggisfish, I haven't been to the gp since I was pregnant as I thought I was better. I don't know why but I'm scared to go back and tell them I'm struggling again. Can you just ask for counselling? I don't want medication at the moment as I'm breastfeeding. I know there is bf safe medication but I'd just rather not risk it (I have a feeling this is the anxiety talking again).

[Haggisfish]

I'd agree with both your statements! You can take lots of medication while bf. it's a risk/benefit situation isn't it-do the risks to your mental health by not taking the medication outweigh the (tiny!) benefits to your baby of not taking the medication? You can just go and ask for counselling. I think you need to be kind to yourself-if you find ds ok at school, can you not work until dd goes to school as well?