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Keep having anxiety attacks about daughter

(2 Posts)
Lenmum Tue 03-May-16 10:02:34

Please help as I don't know what to do I keep stressing and having anxiety attacks about my 13 year old daughter they started 2years ago when she was coming to the end of her time at primary school when she fell out with her best friend at school and was also being left out by her other friends as well it got so bad that I had to be put on anti depressants. Things settled down when she started secondary and she made some new friend and even made up with her old friend I started to feel better and came off them. I even started to plan a wedding and never felt stressed by that. But then this year things have changed for my daughter friends wise again all her friends that she made last year have all disappeared she has moved on to a new group of friends but has no social life with them outside of school. Which has set my anxiety off again as it has left me wondering what has happened I've asked her about it but she just says she prefers these friends but I worry she is just saying this as she's not the sort of girl to show her emotions and will just go quiet a lot. I find myself imagining all sorts of things and wanting to question her all the time (which I know doesn't help her) I tell myself to just leave her be but can't help myself It is also effecting my marriage as my sex life with my husband has stopped as due to my anxiety I just don't feel in the mood. I want to stop feeling like this but just can't stop but don't want to go back on the anti depressants.

pippistrelle Tue 03-May-16 11:37:56

Lenmum - I understand that feeling of being anxious for our children but it sounds like your daughter is doing fine. I think you might be right to be worried though, but not about your daughter, but about yourself. You daughter is old enough now that she will understand that if she talks to you about a worry, then it has an adverse effect on your mental health, and she may choose to censor herself rather than confide in you because she doesn't want to upset you.

This doesn't sound like a healthy state of affairs for either you or your daughter. I would urge you to see your GP to talk about this. I don't really understand why you're against anti-depressants if they've been helpful to you in the past in managing what sounds like a chronic condition, but there are other options available - perhaps CBT might be useful for you, as I understand it can be very helpful for the sort of catastrophising you describe.

Best of luck to you.

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