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Is this anxiety?

(7 Posts)
RamonaTheGreat Sun 01-May-16 20:58:19

Ok, so. We just got a new kitten. Planned for, not new cat owners, a lot of thought and consideration went into the process. Now kitten is here I'm freaking out - I've got a knot in my stomach and I'm not sure how we'll cope. I want to take kitten back. I knew I'd feel like this because I felt like it when we got our first cat and, of course, the feeling stopped after a couple of weeks. I also felt a little like this after my son was born two years ago (it wasn't PND, more of a open mouthed disbelief at my new situation) so I know it's a thing with me and I can accept that this is how I react to new things.

It's not about getting rid of the kitten. I know I won't feel like this in a fortnight. What I want to know really is why I feel like this. Is it anxiety? Is there something I can do to stop it/help myself? I'd say I've got really good mental health overall but this fear of change (?) is something I really want to deal with but don't know how to start. I'm not sure if it might be a control thing and if it is, where on earth it's come from.

Anyway. Any advice appreciated!

Orchidflower1 Sun 01-May-16 21:28:21

Hey Ramona - imho it does sound like anxiety regarding the change. Have you always felt like this about change eg new job/ house etc or just the two events you mention? On a positive note at least you recognise that its a temporary thing. smile

RamonaTheGreat Sun 01-May-16 21:55:56

Hi Orchid! I think yes to the moving house thing - I hate moving and mentally 'move' before the actual day and end up feeling quite restless. I'm not sure if it's to do with taking on new responsibilities maybe, or being in a situation where I don't know what's going to happen maybe?

My OH's family are completely chaotic (lovely, but chaotic) and I find visiting them quite stressful because they'll say we're going to do something and then change plans at the last minute or take so long to get ready that they run out of time and we can't do it.

The frustrating thing is knowing that I'm going to feel this way and knowing it will pass but still not being able to control it (ha!) when it's happening. It makes me nervous about adding more humans to the family because I know when I do I'll be wanting to hang round with the new kitten (who I'm currently avoiding) instead of the baby!

Himalayanrock Sun 01-May-16 21:58:31

Sounds like anxiety about the responsibility to me.

RamonaTheGreat Sun 01-May-16 22:50:15

That sounds about right rock! So I guess it's just the usual anxiety stuff I have to do then? Remind myself that it will go away?

HPFA Mon 02-May-16 07:24:06

You might want to have a look at something called ACT (Acceptance and Committmnebt Therapy). This website will give you an overview www.getselfhelp.co.uk/act.htm.
The basic theory behind ACT is that you learn to diffuse and let go of the thoughts that are upsetting you so that you can get on with the things you value and enjoy ( such as playing with your kitten). It's unlike CBT in that you don't challenge the thoughts or try to change them. It sounds like it could be appropriate for the sort of periodic anxiety you are experiencing.
I've found the techniques really useful. It's still sometimes hard to let the thoughts go rather than trying to fight them but it really is effective.

RamonaTheGreat Mon 02-May-16 17:12:00

HPFA thank you, I'll look more into that now. It's so frustrating having to deal with it - I feel like I'm always looking for a way out when I'm in the situation - and I'm conscious it needs to be dealt with before DC2 arrives!

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