Depression and ED advice

[whoareyoulittleI]

Long-time lurker but first-time poster here...I've got a lot out of reading these boards so hoping posting will help too.

I basically want advice on how to 'normalise' my relationship with food. Like a lot of people, I've had a messed-up view of it for as long as I can remember, really (chubby child, mother who struggles with her own weight issues and was always terrified of me being fat etc) which led to a period of intense restriction in my mid-teens. Weight dropped dramatically, I calorie counted everything, family and friends were concerned, periods stopped but when I went to the dr (about the periods) nothing happened as I was never technically 'underweight'. I've always been heavy for my size (according to other people, not just me!) and I think that is maybe part of my problem.

Anyway, a couple of years later binge eating started in earnest and since then I've been stuck in a binge / purge / binge cycle that I want to get out of. I'm a tiny bit overweight but not massive and nobody knows about it except my dr. It impacts on my life and stops me doing things and I'm sure it is a key factor in my depression. A few months ago I plucked up the courage to go to the dr about feeling low and got a referral to the MH service, had an initial assessment and opened up about my eating and I have an assessment with the eating disorders unit coming up so hoping CBT or something will help.

I guess what I'm asking is: has anyone managed to overcome this, really and truly? If so, how did you do it? I know it takes willpower and sometimes I feel like I've got a grip on it but then I slip up and it's always 'tomorrow'. I'm sick of waiting for 'tomorrow', I want 'today' back! Thanks for reading.

[hefzi]

I'm sorry that I can't be any help myself - but I'd be interested to hear what's worked for others too: so BUMP!

[0phelia]

I lived for over 10 years with bulimia in varying intensity.

I never reached dangerously underweight, and on the outside I always looked normal. But I would secretly binge/purge, sometimes rather frequently.

I'm not sure that this is the answer you are looking for, but I basically grew out of it.

The ED was at it's height during times of great stress such as during degree studies, and also during times of great boredom, like unemployment and job searching.

I just found over time, bulimia didn't play such a big part of my life and gradually disappeared.

CBT can help for some. It's certainly an interesting experience regardless, and can help in thinking more deeply, but it's no miracle cure.