I had PND after the birth of my daughter 5 years ago, and since then have had anxiety and depression usually well managed with a low dose of sertraline.
I feel like my life is falling apart around my ears and I don't know what to do at the moment. I am insecure about friendships because I didn't have any friends when I was at school, and can still not understand why anyone would want to be friends with me, or that if they are, they will realise what I really am like and not be my friend any more.
I have a group of friends who I know through my daughter's school and we have a group on whatsapp. One has just her first baby. I took lunch round there last week and as she was breastfeeding, I did the washing up that was in the sink while I made us both a cup of tea. Apparently her partner ( on paternity leave) got really annoyed that I had done that ( he didn't ask me to not do it or tell me to stop) and went out in a huff. I feel terrible,and my friend seems to be pissed off with me too. I just seem to muck everything up.
Another friend in this group asks for advice on whatsapp, and then if you give it, responds in a really aggressive way. The last time I was really hurt by her response. She told me I was being passive aggressive and judgmental, when actually truly I believe it's up to her what she does with the situation she's in, and I just suggested some ideas of what to do, that she had asked for. It's made me question whether any of the advice I give when asked is any good, and whether I'm a good friend at all. I feel really hurt and insulted that she would think I was like that. She's hurt me before and never apologises.
I'm separated from my husband. We have a good friendship still, and we have tried to get back together, but the fundamental problem of him not being interested in a sexual relationship still remains. I have tried dating other people, but it has just left me very cynical about men. I feel so lonely.
I just feel like I fuck up everything. I feel like I am a crap mother and friend, and that I fail at everything. My house is a mess, with clothes everywhere, and I just want to lie in bed all the time.
Sorry this is all sounding like self pitying bollocks but I hope it will help by typing it all out. If anyone has got any ideas of how I can pull myself out of this pit, or wants to tell me to woman up, please do so.
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Mental health
I'm really struggling and Idon't know what to do.
4 replies
SlowComfortableShrew · 24/04/2016 15:44
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