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Needed to vent....

(5 Posts)
hadenough88 Sat 23-Apr-16 23:30:11

Sorry if I ramble but I'm beyond stressed.
I am a mum to a lovely tween boy, he is the only thing keeping me sane.
I have been diagnosed as stressed and depressed, my mental health is not in a good place at the moment. My debts are crippling me, not helped by taking a month off my full time job with my depression recently. But my real issue here is my partner. He is late 30's, he works 8hrs a week, spends his wages on weed and plays Xbox all day, while I am a struggling mess. I know people will say, leave him. But we have been together so long, and although he is not my child's father, my child does adore him. His family are also so good to him. Me and my partner don't argue, the relationship is good in some ways, we laugh everyday. But the physical side has taken a nose dive as I'm to resentful of his easy life to want him near me. I'm at a loss of what to do. I have spoken to him but he is so laid back he doesn't seem fazed, he just says things will get better, but how? He's not attempting to make it better. If my son wasn't so attached I would of probably left by now. That & the fact I love his family too. I love him, but I don't want to live like this anymore. Anyone else going through similar?

Marchate Sat 23-Apr-16 23:54:50

Is he a caring man? If so, an explanation of how stressed his lazy days are making you feel might be needed

Could you ask his family to help you get the message through his head?

hadenough88 Sun 24-Apr-16 00:05:40

Not really. At the moment everything is feeling pretty one sided. I actually had a breakdown, panic attack in the street etc it was horrendous. That's when I got signed off sick. He didn't even ask if I was ok sad. I didn't speak to him for a week after that. I just imagined my life would be a lot better than this by my age. He has no motivation and it's hard to talk to him cos he just says things will get better. He went through a stage of looking for a new job when I told him I was fed up but he soon got bored of that. He just doesn't take anything serious, meanwhile I'm working full time, trying to run a house, be a mum & partner. I pay all the bills, buy all the shopping etc. Then he throws in my face that he gave me £20 the other week or so. He got paid yesterday. He didn't give me a penny and it's all gone on weed debt and weed. I knew he smoked before I got with him but didn't realise the extent until we moved in together. His mum tells him but he pays no attention. All his friends, brothers, cousins smoke it. He says he will quit when he's ready but it's been 6yrs. I'm drained.

foreverandalways Sun 24-Apr-16 00:16:40

This has made me both angry and sad......why is it that men seem to think they can treat us women as they bloody please!!! You will be far better off both financially and mentally if you literally tell him now just to leave.....you don't owe him any explanation as to why...you owe him nothing...he's not supporting, loving or respecting you for that matter......big hug to you....please do not go on living this way.....

hadenough88 Sun 24-Apr-16 08:06:33

He was at his friends last night, so I thought it would be easier to message him and explain how I'm feeling. He ignored it and didn't speak to me before I left for work. I feel so guilty, but mad at myself at the same time. Why should I care how he feels when he doesn't care about my feelings. Such a horrible situation to be in.

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