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why are they so keen to diagnose me with BDP/emotionally unstable whatever?

(19 Posts)
dangermouseisace Thu 21-Apr-16 19:43:40

So today I saw a Dr with the recovery MH team. When I was in hospital a wee bit back, the psychiatrist thought, based on my past history that I might have borderline (I was a messed up teen. I stopped self harming etc 15 years ago. When I did do it I went to great lengths to conceal it. There was a 20 year gap between suicide attempts). I was sent to the psychologist for a few sessions and tests. The tests indicated that I was severely depressed, and did not have borderline or any other personality disorder. My medication was changed, I improved, got out, and am a lot better than I was. Not where I should be yet, but I have a lot of major life event stresses at the moment so it's not surprising…well, I don't think it's surprising.

First time I've seen this Dr and he brings up the borderline thing again- says that the tests indicated that I wasn't but maybe I was just really good at answering the questions! And then proceeded to go all over my long ago past history again.

I'm fed up of going over my past history. Why do I have to repeat it all every time I have a depressed episode? I find it upsetting and prefer it to stay in the past. I don't think I'm borderline, but I'm starting to question myself…if they are so keen to label me with it maybe I do? But I'm not impulsive in any respect at all- everything is thought through. I don't love/hate people…I tend to get on with nearly everyone, but have a core of people that I would call good friends. I don't self harm. I had bad PND with my second child but that quickly rectified when I took medication. I have when very depressed got some bizarre ideas. What am I missing? What are MH Drs seeing that I don't?

Meloncoley2 Thu 21-Apr-16 20:09:50

I don't think you are missing anything OP.
I would be interested to know the gender split for BPD diagnosis to be honest.

Lanark2 Thu 21-Apr-16 20:12:43

To a man with a hammer, everything is a nail.

Buscake Thu 21-Apr-16 20:17:24

I guess they're just trying to make sure they cover everything. Going off your list there you don't seem to meet the criteria...

Melon- diagnosis is 50/50 m/f

SiencynArsecandle Thu 21-Apr-16 20:26:59

DH has now been given this diagnosis after over 20 years in the MH system. He has at varying times been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, Disassociative Identity Disorder, Bipolar, Psychosis until they decided last year he had BPD. The difference in his care since then has been astonishing. MH care was never good but with BPD they can blame everything on the patient. I'm practically convinced its a catch all for some patients they can't 'make better' thus affecting their figures.

exWifebeginsat40 Thu 21-Apr-16 20:29:08

yep, my BPD support group is pretty evenly split by gender.

when I got my diagnosis it was actually a massive relief to me. I had an appalling childhood and my adult life has often been chaotic. my maladaptive behaviours made total sense in the context of BPD.

your GP can refer you back to the CMHT as you are not sure of your diagnosis if that's what you need - BPD doesn't make people monsters, but there is a stigma attached to the label that is hard to live with sometimes.

roarfeckingroar Thu 21-Apr-16 20:45:21

I have BPD. Under control, self harm too, after a long time and work. Like exW the diagnosis was a relief to me when I got it as suddenly everything made sense, I made sense, I wasn't evil broken manipulative irrevocably damaged - there was a reason.

Like a PP's DH I've had diagnoses of anxiety, bipolar, PTSD, depression over the years.

I don't know what to suggest aside that everyone I've ever met has discovered the diagnosis and felt calmer and like a weight is off because it made sense. I would have to meet you to know what's going on with you and/or your GP but if it it is BPD you want DBT not CBT

exWifebeginsat40 Thu 21-Apr-16 21:07:42

roar you put that beautifully.

I'm also blessed with depression, anxiety, complex PTSD and alcoholism. oh, and an eating disorder. it's horrible knowing how broken I am, but now everything is being teased out, I feel like I've made a tiny bit of progress. I was hospitalised for a few weeks in 2012, and again the following year for a week after a horrible time with my drinking, which had already lost me such a lot.

I just had one of my meds changed after a long, slow decline since last summer and looking back I was pretty unwell. my support group is amazing, even though everyone in it has been discharged from secondary services because we have a support group!

my GP has been an incredible help to me and I know he will listen and re-refer me if I feel things are getting out of control again. the last psychiatrist was very helpful as well, although she was keen to point out that I wouldn't be re-assigned a CPN or have access to the (endless voicemail loop) of the crisis team at this point.

I have 2 years sober tomorrow and I am kind of proud of that, at least. my life is very, very different to a couple of years ago - it's much smaller, but sometimes sweeter nonetheless.

I hope you're doing ok, OP.

exWifebeginsat40 Thu 21-Apr-16 21:11:15

I'm actually just reflecting on what I just posted and it seems I'm feeling quite positive today. this is the clearest I have felt in a long, long time and I just hope the new med regime carries on working.

Knackered69 Thu 21-Apr-16 21:49:39

Ex - Wife - well done you!! flowers

2 years sober is fantastic!

exWifebeginsat40 Thu 21-Apr-16 21:55:51

thank you. i lost everything by the end and it very nearly killed me. i managed to save the relationship with my daughter (went to live with her dad voluntarily at 13, and is 16 next month) and we are closer than ever.

i'm a child of alcoholics, i grew up in a house full of anger and sexual violence and i swore i would never be a drunk like my mother. it turned out that i AM an alcoholic, but i am not condemned to repeat the patterns of my past. i have been no contact with my mother for 9 years and it's been so healthy for me.

so, yeah. i can never undo the damage i did, but i can change how things are going forward. and it really is one day at a time!

Foxyspook Thu 21-Apr-16 22:07:50

Well done, Ex-wife. It takes a lot to give up alcohol. Especially when you are brought up with it. You have a lot to be proud of...

dangermouseisace Thu 21-Apr-16 22:08:24

thank you all for your responses- what a range of experiences! exwife and roar I'm so glad that diagnosis has been helpful and a relief exwife 2 years sober is AMAZING that is nailing it. It is actually really good to hear that it helps people when you hear so much that is negative.

I was another crap childhood…so teenage stuff was to be expected really. I could see how BDP would fit in with how I was then in some respects…but then most teenagers are moody etc. But thought I'd worked through all that, come to terms with everything, moved on. I'm fortunate in that I had the opportunity to do that whilst still young. It was hard work at the time but from early-mid 20's on life for me has been pretty steady following the usual predictable course (uni, chosen work field, marriage, house, kids) with any depression dealt with by GP until I had PND. I'm too boring for mood swings these days.

Thing is…I don't even want anything from the MH team! I'm happy for CPN to see me every so often at the moment as sometimes it's useful to get feedback on how things are going. But I don't actually want any talking therapy/CBT/DBT although I'd accept whatever is offered if MH professionals think it would help as they are the 'experts'. I was kind of just hoping that things would get better naturally when my life is less stressful…

roarfeckingroar Fri 22-Apr-16 16:03:30

Alcohol abuse - tick
Eating disorders - tick

But through help from great support and the correct medication I'm actually ok and can drink in (relative) moderation now.

Well done exW!

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Fri 22-Apr-16 20:09:52

Last time I was in hospital they mooted BPD as a differential diagnosis and then spent ages looking at whether it fit, despite it having been ruled out completely by both consultant psych on a previous admission and the CMHT psychologist.

Now I'm well again and discharged back to the CMHT and the HCPs who know me well are wondering why they were bothering as I don't have a PD, but put it down to new doc syndrome - where the new doc wants to revisit everything themselves just because.

I know that my friends who have been diagnosed have found it actually quite helpful as it was like the penny dropped as to why they had always found things a struggle. They're doing a range of things now from DBT to STEPPS which will help them.

I only find it unhelpful as like you it's irritating to have it brought up again when it's already been ruled out, as it seems like a waste of everyone's time.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Sun 24-Apr-16 21:50:06

I know that my friends who have been diagnosed have found it actually quite helpful as it was like the penny dropped as to why they had always found things a struggle.
That doesn't really make sense. BPD doesn't explain anything, doesn't explain why someone struggles. It's just a label for those particular struggles.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Sun 24-Apr-16 22:05:52

Although it's great if people find it helpful. smile
It just seems to close doors for some people, and it shouldn't be like that. Even more reason for the psychiatrists to be very sure before they diagnose.

exWifebeginsat40 Mon 25-Apr-16 13:25:00

as someone who found my BPD diagnosis a relief, it explained my addictions, my eating disorder, my anxiety, my inability to react appropriately in emotional situations and a whole bunch more. some people get a dual diagnosis. I have 5. BPD explains this to me.

it makes treatment difficult as any or all of my maladaptive behaviours can kick in or drop out at any point. I struggle with keeping myself safe when things are bad.

for me, I think there was a sort of vindication that I really did have an appalling childhood. it really was that bad, and some 25 years after leaving home I am now finding a voice that people will hear.

it isn't a 'bad' diagnosis for me. I'm grateful that we are finally starting to unpick trauma that has affected me for many years.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho Mon 25-Apr-16 16:13:07

That sounds good. I just know in a lot of peoples experience it has the opposite effect - trauma and persons history is ignored, in favour of blaming and disliking the patient.
But it doesn't actually explain anything. It's a label they put of certain sets of behaviours and feelings, its more like a description than an explanation.

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