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I think did boyfriend needs urgent help

(9 Posts)
teentraumas Tue 05-Apr-16 23:34:31

I will try to summarise - am risking being outed here but really need some advice

Dd 17 has been with her bf 18 for over 2 years
He had a mental health history of depression and schizophrenia. Previously medicated with fluoxetine but not medicated now.
Big life events in last 14 months, mum died quite unexpectedly, dad died years ago. Found to be victim of paedophile who has since been imprisoned.
Behaviour change in last 6 months reaching peak in last 2-3 weeks. Obsessive stalker behaviour with dd, unable to reason with him, jealousy, fixated ideas.
Admitted he is having voices again, self harmed last week after arguement with dd. Exceptionally possessive over dd
Had a telephone consult with gp today who is referring back to Camhs. But I am really worried he needs help sooner, like this week.
How soon will Camhs see him? Would this fit with crisis referral??
Any advice gratefully received sad

Marchate Tue 05-Apr-16 23:42:22

If possible, you can take him to A&E. I had to take my daughter last year. She was fast tracked to psychiatric care after that

Alternatively, there will be a crisis team at your general hospital's psychiatric unit. They could give you advice

Best wishes to all of you

Clonakiltylil Wed 06-Apr-16 00:51:27

It sounds like he has Borderline Personality Disorder as well, but a psychiatrist will need to assess and diagnose.

He is going to need some serious help with this; the poor lad will not be able to do this alone. As a start he needs to be on anti-anxiety medication - this will take the edge off the possessiveness and his paranoid behaviour. Your DD is going to need tons of love, support and care as well. She is young to be on the receiving end of his outbursts.

Remember that the way he is behaving is not his fault - he has had the most dreadful things happen to him. He can get better but it will take years of long term therapy. There are some great places out there that help adolescents. Best of luck to all of you.

elementofsurprise Wed 06-Apr-16 05:47:50

Clonakiltylil It sounds like he has Borderline Personality Disorder as well
Er - what?! What are you basing that on? Stereotyped cliches? I can't see any symptoms of BPD there. You could possibly extract one symptom if you really tried but a) one symptom isnt enough for diagnosis, and b) this guy has other MH issues that account for all this far better (and, under stress, most people exhibit a trait or two anyway!). Bandying around BPD can have serious repercussions - other symptoms/illnesses dismissed as "attention seeking" etc. Please be careful.

Clonakiltylil Wed 06-Apr-16 08:15:06

I actually know quite a bit about BPD. I'm not saying he has it, but the young man is clearly very ill - he probably has several co-existing conditions. The following comes from MIND, and you'll find that from the limited information we have been given, he appears to have several of the umbrella symptoms. It's just a thought. It can't be treated with medication -it's a condition that needs long-term therapy.

What are the symptoms of BPD?
You might be given a diagnosis of BPD if you experience at least ve of the following things, and they've lasted for a long time or have a big impact on your daily life:
• You feel very worried about people abandoning you, and would do anything to stop that happening.
• You have very intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days and can change quickly (for example, from feeling very happy and confident in the morning to feeling low and sad in the afternoon).
• You don't have a strong sense of who you are, and it can change depending on who you're with.
• You find it very hard to make and keep stable relationships.
• You act impulsively and do things that could harm you (such as binge eating, using drugs or driving dangerously).
• You have suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviour.
• You feel empty and lonely a lot of the time.
• You get very angry, and struggle to control your anger.
• When very stressed, sometimes you might:
– feel paranoid
– have psychotic experiences, such as seeing or hearing things other
people don't
– feel numb or 'checked out' and not remember things properly after
they've happened.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Wed 06-Apr-16 08:21:09

You need to protect your daughter. She needs to set some boundaries for him and you must help her to police them. Send him away if he comes to the house, help her not to answer his calls in the night etc. This will impact on her mental health if she's not careful. Are his family on board? They need to pull their fingers out and keep him safe. This is too much for your daughter to carry.

cutefluffyunicorn Wed 06-Apr-16 08:24:07

Please be cautious of folks making diagnoses and advising what meds he needs based on a single post on the internet hmm
It does sound as if he needs some urgent help. If he is 18 why is he going back to CAMHS and not to adult services? Do you know if you have crisis team in your area? you could try ringing them for advice initially.
Having said that if their are symptoms of possible psychosis (eg hearing voices) CAMHS would normally treat that as an urgent referral but how quickly he would be seen depends on your area and local protocoletc.

MummySparkle Wed 06-Apr-16 08:33:05

I don't think we should side-track this thread by trying to diagnose him.

At 18 he will be seen by adult services rather than by CAMHS. You should be able to call your local community mental health team and ask for an urgent assessment for him. Tell them what you have told us. Does his have other family around him? Who does he live with? (Feel free not to answer, I'm wondering whether he lives with somebody who can keep an eye on him, living alone in his situation could cause things to escalate)

How is your daughter? I agree that she might need some support too, this must be difficult for her and really hard to watch him go through. Mental health services often have provisions for carers of service users.

An urgent referral to the CMHT (doesn't need to be from a GP, can usually come from a concerned family member) will usually be seen for assessment wishing a week.

teentraumas Wed 06-Apr-16 08:41:00

Thank you for all the advice! Really helpful. I have scan read it, but need to dash off to work. Will be back later!

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