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If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

(536 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

SweetElizaRose Sat 02-Apr-16 04:43:07

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

honeysucklejasmine Sat 02-Apr-16 04:57:11

Have you seen a GP regarding your intrusive thoughts? Your anxiety is the problem here.

Legally, I'm not sure you can, but your parents could fight for access based on their current good relationship with your DC.

MooseBeTimeForSnow Sat 02-Apr-16 05:04:05

Best thing you could do is make a Will and make your wishes very clear. Make sure your parents get a copy. That's they best supporting evidence they could have if they applied to the Court.

However. You're not going to die from Chickenpox. You might get itchy. But you're not going to die. Are you seeing your doctor for your anxiety? You really need help with this.

Footle Sat 02-Apr-16 06:29:51

Have you got chicken pox confused with smallpox ?

raininginspringtime Sat 02-Apr-16 06:30:28

I'm afraid you can't.

Fugghetaboutit Sat 02-Apr-16 06:57:45

Can grandparents fight for access?

Yes, please see gp about your anxiety. You won't die from CP sweetheart

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Sat 02-Apr-16 07:07:13

He's the other parent so can move and do as he likes

You can't 'insist' on anything!! Access could be gained but it would be down to your parents to fight for, and pay for

Phalenopsisgirl Sat 02-Apr-16 07:32:43

I had chicken pox as an adult, you won't die. You will feel like dying. It will come to an end though, however as others have said you need to seek help re these feelings.

SweetElizaRose Sat 02-Apr-16 07:38:01

Chicken pox as an adult can cause death. 1 in ten adults will get pneumonia or swelling of the brain. I am type 1 diabetic too so already have a compromised immune system and my skin probably won't heal as well as it should thus making infection more likely.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 02-Apr-16 07:40:23

Talk to your husband now in a general way about how important it is to,you. Make a will and lodge it with a solicitor. Include an individual letter to your husband,,with a plea for the children to keep in contact with your parents.

The older the children get, the more their own voices will be heard.

I don't think you will die. But that's what I would do if I were you to get peace of mind, then forget about it.

Rosa Sat 02-Apr-16 07:42:37

Step away from Google. Go and see your GP and ask for help with you anxiety. Try to think positive and then make a copy of your will as said and make sure your parents have a copy.

Devilishpyjamas Sat 02-Apr-16 07:45:01

You're probably already immune to chickenpox. I never had it as a child but had immunity checked after coming into contact with it whilst pregnant & was immune anyway. The people I have known who has it as adults has it as children as well!

Do get some support for your anxiety.

curren Sat 02-Apr-16 07:45:13

OP I really think you need to see a doctor. About your anxiety. The chances of you dying are very very small. You may not even present symptoms of it. You have been exposed, but may not get it. You have probably been exposed before and. Not known it.

Speak to your dh about what you want. Me and dh have both agreed to carry on the relationship we have with each other's parents if one of us passes.

But please also speak to your GP. Have you told your husband that you 'know' you are going to die?

MaisieDotes Sat 02-Apr-16 07:50:41

Eliza this is just the anxiety again.

Please see that. You will be fine, but please get help for the anxiety.


SweetElizaRose Sat 02-Apr-16 08:23:07

Definitely not immune as I've been checked.

curren Sat 02-Apr-16 08:41:00

You may not be immune. But you may not get it, or get it bad.

Not being immune does not equal definitely catching it and dying.

I know it may seem logical to you. But I really think you need to some help with these thoughts thanks

Lightbulbon Sat 02-Apr-16 08:47:35

You have a severe mental health problem. Get medical help urgently.

These thoughts are not normal.

Tate15 Sat 02-Apr-16 08:54:03

Reading your posts, it's as if you are willing yourself to die!

It is warped thinking to have this kind of motion. Your anxiety has made you think without reason and you should seek medical help. These thoughts are not the real you thinking, they are part of an illness that needs treating.

A healthy mind does not think this way. Please get help as your thoughts could be affecting your children and even if not now, if your thoughts continue in this manner, it may lead to further distress in the future.

You are convinced you are going to die. Logically, you cannot predict this.

BombadierFritz Sat 02-Apr-16 08:54:40

Post natal anxiety is v common - speak to your gp

Wrt access to gparents, they can seek a court ordered access if necessary. Speak to your partner about your worries and concerns. Hopefully he will reassure you.

But also see your gp

HeadTilt Sat 02-Apr-16 09:08:38

Please see your GP about your anxiety.
It is the problem here.

Fairylea Sat 02-Apr-16 09:15:12

Your anxiety is out of control. I have an auto immune disease and take daily antibiotics and I have had chicken pox 3 times as an adult. I am still here to tell the tale ! Yes it can be dangerous but it is extremely rare that it would actually kill you.

To assume you are going to die because of chicken pox is quite frankly crazy, you need to get yourself to the GP and get some help.

WaitrosePigeon Sat 02-Apr-16 09:15:20

You have a mental health issue. Please see a doctor.

ScarlettDarling Sat 02-Apr-16 09:16:27

Sweeteliza Are you receiving some sort of help for your anxiety? As a fellow anxiety sufferer, even I think your reaction to being exposed to chicken pox is very extreme. The chances of you dying from chicken pox are very, very, very small and yet you seem to think it's almost a certainty.

To help calm your mind in the short term about your dc seeing your parents in the (extremely unlikely) event of you dying in the near future, do you feel you could talk to your Dh? Surely if he sees how much this is worrying you, he would be able to reassure you very quickly about letting your dc have regular contact with your parents if anything did happen.

SweetElizaRose Sat 02-Apr-16 10:48:01

Yes I'm certain dd or I will die.
It just seems fate

SweetElizaRose Sat 02-Apr-16 10:49:25

I've spoken to dh this morning and he assures me he will still allow access. I need to talk to him about not moving out of our house too quickly as I don't think me dying and then moving and having to change school will be the right thing for ds.
I've also started mentally planning funerals for dd and me

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