Sorry, Haudyerwheesht, just caught the end of your post. The understanding that im in a shitty position is actually really helpful - when you're at the end, just someone 'getting it' makes all the difference.
I don't see how I'm being single minded btw - there are only two ways to get help (round here) and that is the CMHT or the primary care services. I have tried both. What is single minded about that? There seems to be general agreement I need therapy but no-one willing to do it!
Kitty Your GP needs to make a referral citing the multiple referrals already made and that the must assess your needs or it will be raised as a formal incident
That's interesting - I didn't know that was a thing! My GP just kept saying there was nothing he could do but refer me. I've recently seen a different one though so maybe he can do this. He said I was "stuck in a terrible system" so I get the impression he understands!
nicesunnytuesday and dangerrabbit I was seeeing a private psychotherapeutic counsellor for about 18 months. It got a bit weird towards the end and then she suddenly stopped seeing me and wrote to my GP saying I needed more help and should be referred to MH services (she'd already been in touch with him, concerned saying I needed support). She didn't believe they wouldn't help me. It was quite hard to deal with, felt like a right fuck up. She was part of an organisation of therapists working together, where they assess you at the beginning and match you to a therapist, so I thought I could trust them, and they had reduced fees as on benefits. I don't know where I'd find a trustworthy one that I could afford now, all the rest seem to be single and so I don't know if they are getting proper supervision etc, and Im scared i'm too messed up and they expect me to hve support from srvices that I don't have. I was the only one who was unemployed etc at the previous place - they see professionals normally, I am a weirdo fuckup to them. Sorry, feel awful. Its all coming flooding back. Sorry. Im so upset I kept trying with therapy even when I should have had suspicions about her (she stopped remembering things I'd said, seemed to confuse me with other people, kept constantly misunderstanding etc. )
Mrscaindingle The last time I was assessed by CMHT was summer 2014. It was weird. I had two assessment meeetings - the first they were talking as if it was a done deal that they wouldn't accept me, they even said they wouldn't as I didn't meet the criteria for services. They said it was up to me to pay for therapy if i wanted it. Only by pleading and begging did they offer the second meeting. At this meeting, they'd done a sudden u-turn (we had no contact inbetween) and I was told I definitely needed therapy and they'd provide it. She got very dismissive and acted like I was doing something wrong when I enquired as to why they'd had such a radical change of heart.
I was allocated a care-coordinator (think was social worker, deffo not nurse) who used to check how I was and vaguely talked of DBT, but they never actually put me on a DBT course. Or suggested any therapy for the underlying depression and trauma (my CC did say that depression seemed to be main presenting issue.) Then I got discharged unexpectedly after a couple of months, and they wrote to my GP suggesting I shouldn't be referred again.
I live in a area with massive budget cuts, they may be only taking on peple with psychosis? I can't even find out if they have a psychology service anymore, no-one will tell me anything, they just keep parroting "go to your GP". As willow says, it is horrible to get your hopes up an then have them dashed again.
Hopelessly
Thanks. Glad someone out there actually believes that services won't help and I'm not making it up! Yes exactly I am stuck between the two services.
I'm so tired of dealing with all the horrible memories and with no-one I can talk to about it, or who will be kind or treat me nicely when it hurts. Its always just me having to put a brave face on an I can't manage that very much at the moment. All this bullshit of trying to access some help is just what happens on top of what I'm already dealing with. People seem to forget that.