Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Does your child / teen have mental health issues? Are you interesting in a long running thread to provide mutual support?

(64 Posts)
hmcAsWas Wed 09-Mar-16 11:04:51

DD (13) has only just started developing problems this year, although I suppose there might have been signs before. I feel a bit alone and out of my depth and would like to chat about it with parents who are experiencing similar. Perhaps we can pool support and advice if there is interest?

DD appears anxious and depressed. Low mood - wants to avoid school and her normal activities and just stay home and shut the world out. I don't know if this is how anxiety and depression usually manifests itself. She is joyless and flat at the moment.

Also has anybody seen a forum for parental support anywhere else on the internet?

Thornrose Wed 09-Mar-16 11:11:43

My dd is 16 and has quite significant MH problems. She has anxiety and depression. She also suffers from very intrusive thoughts which are pretty much ruining her life at the moment.

Dd's problems started about 18 months ago. She very quickly went down hill and started to talk about suicide. Your dd seems to be showing fairly early classic signs of depression.

How is her sleep and her appetite?

I find it difficult to talk to people in RL so would be happy to join the thread.

hmcAsWas Wed 09-Mar-16 11:35:33

That would be great Thornrose. I think in RL people don't seem to want to discuss it - they seem very awkward about it when it is broached

I am sorry to hear about your dd's suicidal thoughts - that's really quite a burden. I have asked dd as neutrally as possible if she ever feels like this, and all she will say is that she would never do it because it would destroy us.

Her sleep is patchy - takes a long time to get to sleep and sometimes awake until the early hours.

She has missed quite a bit of school lately as she wants to stay at home and withdraw form all her usual activities - she is adamant that there are no problems at school and she says that she is anxious, but not sure what she is anxious about! She has no reason to be depressed but I guess that depression doesn't need a reason?

What sort of help has your daughter received? In view of her suicidal feelings do you feel apprehensive when she is not with you? I worry in case dd just takes it upon herself to walk out of school...

hmcAsWas Wed 09-Mar-16 11:49:56

I'll bump this thread periodically for traffic. I am sure there must be quite a few mumsnetters with dc who are struggling with varying degrees of mental health issues

Thornrose Wed 09-Mar-16 12:15:05

Dd also has Aspergers which really complicates things further. She isn't independent so doesn't go out alone which is a relief.

I took her to the GP first. After a while he diagnosed a low dose of Sertaline. It did give her a bit of a lift but they have to keep increasing the dosage.

Eventually she was referred to an Early Intervention Psychosis team. She had very distressing thoughts and paranoia which was worrying.

They've pretty much ruled out psychosis but still see her on a regular basis. There really isn't any other support. I've tried everything.

I've taken her to CAMHS and refused to leave until they saw her. I've taken her to A&E in desperation.

Are you thinking of counselling or meds for your dd?

Thornrose Wed 09-Mar-16 12:19:17

Sorry, the way I phrased that sounds like you have to choose one of those options! Thats not what I meant.

hmcAsWas Wed 09-Mar-16 13:05:03

I get the feeling that you have to be pushy and insistent when it comes to getting help. We went to the GP and he was kindly, but he minimised it all! Will make another appointment to see my preferred GP in the practice. I really hope you get some breakthroughs with your daughter - it sounds like quite a (difficult) journey already.

Friends have told me that without self harming or clear suicidal intent that you will wait a year or more for therapy. I have contacted a child psychologist by email (was on professional association website) and am phoning her this evening to discuss dd seeing her. Prepared to pay privately rather than wait for the NHS

Worried about medication as I have heard it can increase suicidal feelings

I am going through that early stage of "why my child?" at the moment - I expect that you've been there!

hmcAsWas Wed 09-Mar-16 19:02:31

Bumping for the evening crowd

Arfarfanarf Mon 14-Mar-16 23:09:35

My eldest is struggling a lot. He tells me he wants to die. He is obsessed with death and what it would be like to be dead and whether he would still have autism in heaven.
He has now said he will kill himself on april 23rd.
Camhs are as much use as a chocolate teapot and gp tried crisis tram and they wont touch him because at his age it's camhs.

There is nothing out there for teens struggling to process their dx that i can find. If anyone has found anything i would be very interested to hear about it.

notonyurjellybellynelly Wed 16-Mar-16 05:05:36

Good Morning, is anyone here. I could do with a bit of support right now if thats ok?

My son. 25 years old. Classic Kanners Autism. Tourettes. Mental Health problems in the form of Paranoia and Delusions that started about 5 years ago will start on Depot Antipsychotics today. He's been taking tablets but its all gone horribly wrong for him again and this is now the only option we have left for him.

My heart is broken, absolutely well and truly broken, but Im sitting her this morning a nervous wreck with a migraine after a horrendous incident and Im all out of ideas and hope.

He was doing very well on his oral medication of Haldol but its not made anymore and the generic versions have been absolutely useless. So 5 months after his last Haldol, 5 months that have been hell on earth for him, and in return for us as a family and his team of round the clock home base carers - out only option is Haldol injections which are still made.

Ive been shocked to the core at the extent of his Tourettes and mental health problems that the Haldol has been hiding.

My poor son.

And on top of that my husband who's away leading a life of his own doesn't even respond to texts etc about him. He's seen him 3 times in 22 months for a total of 20 minutes. My son really is just someone he pays for every month. But Ive kept him in the loop because it was the best thing all round but Im now thinking to myself - do what the kids, and my dad say - and don't tell him another thing.

Im very well supported in real life. My children and grandchildren are great. We really are a family thats in this together. But today Im really struggling. My heart is broken for my boy.

notonyurjellybellynelly Wed 16-Mar-16 05:06:50

Im sorry - this is a separate post to acknowledge the other children who are struggling and the lovely parents who walk each step with them.

wannabestressfree Wed 16-Mar-16 06:22:22

Hi am happy to give advice and listen to all. Have a DS1 who is 18, aspergers, schizophrenic, spent two years sectioned as a teen in a forensic psych unit (from 14)
Home at 16 and still medicated and has little bits of support. Loses every job he has sad but is due to go to uni in September.
I love him more than words can say but he rules the roost and our family. I am a single mum with three boys... I had him as a young mum. What a rocky road it's been....

Thornrose Wed 16-Mar-16 08:28:51

I'm off to work now but I'd love to talk about psychosis symptoms in young people. I haven't met anyone in RL that is going through this. It's a living hell.

lazymum99 Wed 16-Mar-16 12:34:54

24 year old son. Mental health issues and addiction (from self medication) since age of 17. Probably had symptoms before but difficult to know.
On a cocktail of medication. Struggles. with life. Has not seemed happy for years.

Although I feel terrible about his life I find the support required from me after all these years is too much. I am parenting a 24 year old like he is 13. I am beginning to resent it and want my life back. But these feelings make me feel unbelievably guilty. He's my son and I should be looking after him but if I continue to take on all his problems i'm going to break.

notonyurjellybellynelly Wed 16-Mar-16 17:55:20

Im just in on my broomstick to say thank you to everyone posting here today. Im not ignoring the thread but its been a bit of a hard day what with my lovely boy, and one of my other children needing my time. I'll be back tomorrow. Thank you all flowers

blimppy Wed 16-Mar-16 21:03:21

I'll join this thread too! DD1(16) suffers from anxiety, and over the past 6 months has developed Depression. She has self harmed for about 3 years. It's incredibly hard to deal with and I'm sick with worry about how she is now, and about what the future will hold for her. I have some good friends in RL that I can and do talk to but, although they are sympathetic, they can't really understand as their children are doing just fine. Some virtual handholding with others who are also experiencing this would be very welcome! One question I have is what other people's experiences have been in terms of how siblings have responded to this situation? DD2 sees okay, but I am very conscious just how much time and emotion DD1 absorbs from me.

NotTodayDear Thu 17-Mar-16 10:28:44

My daughter is 13 and she was sectioned earlier this month. Am really struggling.

jacks365 Thu 17-Mar-16 10:59:29

I'm struggling too. 18 year old daughter who has a diagnosis of bpd with pyschosis also depression and anxiety. Recently returned home following 3 months as a voluntary inpatient, I can't say or do anything or she takes another overdose and ends up back in A&E. Her room is a tip, she won't get up, she won't shower. I tried banning food and drinks in the bedroom but she ignored me and I'm running out of cutlery and crockery fast but I can't tidy it up for her or she just sees it as a criticsm. I'm dreading her sister coming home from Uni next week because she'll have no patience with her. The knock on effect it's having on my health is hard too. I could do with some support and help and advice but since she is under adult services I'm out of the loop.

notonyurjellybellynelly Thu 17-Mar-16 11:14:38

This is one of those horrible situations where you dont really want to meet other people on a thread like this but at the same time you're glad to see others posting. blush

Well its now 20 hours since my boy had his first depot of Haldol and he's had a really good day. He's at peace with himself even though the Tourettes is breaking through occasionally. My daughter got it in a nutshell when she said to me, mama, put him on the injections becase being DB must be exhausting and he needs a break from himself. He had the injection just before bed and I stayed up on a chair till about 5 am he was so quiet. It was a bit eerie, no snorting, no stemming, no happy noises, no angry noises, nothing! He was just plain old fashioned fast asleep. I always have one of the carers with us overnight and he didnt sleep either.

So a good day for my son. And all I feel right now is immense relief that I made the decision to start him on the injections.

How is everyone else today?

Can anyone pinpoint when the psychosis started as a secondary condition in their children?

lazymum99 Thu 17-Mar-16 11:22:28

My younger sone coming home from university this weekend also. Although I love being with him and miss him when he's away. He has no patience with his brother and is quite angry about how the situation affects the whole family. He tends to spend a lot of time out and I don't think he would if the circumstances were different.
The not getting out of bed and bedroom a tip is very familiar. It makes me angry but I don't know if this is his illness or laziness. Is it unfair to ask an 'adult' to put dirty clothes in a wash basket and not on the floor!

FreakinScaryCaaw Thu 17-Mar-16 11:22:36

Oh don't talk to me about camhs. I'm sure there must be some who are happy with them but not us.

I hope you all find something to help your dcs.

I've been getting ds2 to do some mindfulness and keep talking to him as he has social anxiety. He loves school and is improving in other situations. He has autistic traits but isn't diagnosed.

ladybyron Thu 17-Mar-16 13:49:22

Can I join in? Have a 22 year old son diagonosed with clinical depression and psychosis. Probably started around about 17, but for years we were told it was chronic fatigue. We were also out of the loop, re the diagnosis until just recently
His room is a tip and he is completely unmotivated. I feel like I am grieving for the beautiful, energetic child that he was. He has no responsibility over the meds that he is supposed to be. Once he starts feeling better, he take them on his rules, then wonders why he becomes manic and psychotic, which happened several weeks ago.
It is terribly draining, particularly as he is often verbally offensive to me; never to my Dh. Feel like you lazymum99, at breaking point. Have started counselling sessions, but early days.

floramckitchen Thu 17-Mar-16 13:59:58

lazymum99 - I feel exactly the same as you! I have a dd 21 who suffers from bpd, depression and self harming . She first became really ill about three years ago and needed a LOT of support. Its still going on now and its EXHAUSTING! I feel as if I am constantly on duty and there is absolutely no peace of mind for me. Lucky for me that I have a full time job which has been a life saver because it is an area of my life which is allowed to be daughter free! I have tried to encourage her to get on with her life but its all very difficult for her - she started uni in September but had to return home after 6 weeks as she could not cope.

She also has obsessions about things - the latest one is Japan. She is so obsessed with the place that she saved up her ESA and bought a last minute flight to Tokyo. She is there now and due back on Tuesday . I have no idea how she is or what she will be like when she returns, she has sent a few emails and photos but not that informative.

She is a constant worry

Thornrose Fri 25-Mar-16 00:17:47

Notonyur you asked about when psychosis presented. My dd has Aspergers, she became depressed and had suicidal thoughts in October 2014, she was 14.

Shortly after that she started to say that people were outside the house. She was afraid, she thought there were lots of people out there talking about her.

I took her to the GP a few times, they seemed unconcerned. I had to to take her to A&E once as she was trying to run in front of cars, the only way she knew to kill herself!

Then she started getting really bizarre thoughts. She felt that seagulls were laughing at her, sirens were being sent to get her because she was a bad person. Our neighbour was communicating bad things and calling her names, There were many other bizarre thoughts too which changed our life.

She saw an early intervention psychosis team and they put her on an anti psychotic. It helped to stop her aggression and rage but didn't affect her bizarre thoughts.

Her MH team think that it's not psychosis as she acknowledges that they are thoughts not beliefs. When we talk she seems to believe the thoughts so I'm very unsure.

What I do know is that her life is unbearably difficult and so is mine. She has so many triggers I permanently walk on eggshells. Another problem is that she feels car lights are flashing to upset her. We can barely leave the house, she has to wear a hood at all times. She can become very anxious and aggressive. The other day she grabbed my hair while I was driving and I nearly crashed the car.

It's incredibly difficult for me to share this, does anyone identify with anything
we're going through?

notonyurjellybellynelly Fri 25-Mar-16 02:54:13

*It's incredibly difficult for me to share this, does anyone identify with anything
we're going through*

Thorn, thank you for sharing. I just nipped into check the boards before going out for the day so for now I want to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, and to say I'll be back in tonight to catch up with you. Im not in the UK, Im quite a few hours ahead - just in case time differences make it look like Im not in a hurry to come back and reply to you.

Its all a just so horrible. sad

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now