Need to be sectioned but worried about social services

[Hannah7889]

Hi
My family are threatening to get me sectioned and in my short periods of sanity (now) I understand I may need to be. I have server unmediated bipolar and at the moment I'm not really sure what's going on with it or my moods.

I have a one year old son and I'm 5 months pregnant with my daughter. My oh recently left me and I had to move back to my home town and in with my mum. I argued with her because of how I felt and she would use everything against me, for example every time I did something she would say "don't do that this is my house!" I felt so annoyed because she can use that against me and I don't have anywhere of my own yet I have two babies.

So last night it all kicked off. Something happened that caused an argument and I lost it. I threw a glass at her which smashed as well as loads of other things and gave her a black eye. My brother had to restrain me. My son saw it all and wouldn't come near me he would only go to my mum. I got even more upset about that so I left him with my mum and I drove my car to a quiet place. I put a tube through the exhaust and in to my car to try and fill it with carbon monoxide but it didn't work. My mum kept calling me asking where I was but I ignored all of them. She then started telling me he was better off with out me and I'm a rubbish mum. I went back to the house and started with her again screaming and trying to fight her. I then started being nasty to my brother for no reason. I then took my son and put him in the car. He fell asleep and I pulled over and just cried and cried. My auntie started texting me (as my mum had spoken to her) all she was asking was where was the baby she didn't have any concern for me. I felt so awful. My auntie told me to come over and I said I would on the basis that she nor my uncle talks to me and leaves me alone, she agreed. I went over and up to the spare room and laid my son in bed and went to sleep. I then slit my arms with an open pair of scissors and just sat down and cried and cried. I wanted and still want just to be alone by myself with my two babies I don't want any family I need to be alone.

My auntie came in to my room this morning and I went mad because I didn't want to see her. She got rude back which was understandable. I got even more angry and threw things. She called my mum round and my mum came to talk to me and all I did was personally insult her, throw things and scream at her. I told her I was going to kill her and to watch her back because I will get her whether today or next month it would happen. My auntie told me she was going to call the police but my mum stopped her. My mums told me that I'm ill (my dad has same condition and has acted the exact same way) I told her I wasn't. She left and my auntie went to work so I went downstairs. I text my mum several texts telling her how I was going to set fire to the house if anyone comes round and I will set fire to my car too and that I would kill my dad too because I blamed him for me feeling like this. I was descriptive and told her how I would do it.

She left work and came back round and she has taken my son out, I let her because I need some air. I haven't and would never hurt my son. I have fed and dressed him today same as I do every day but he can guess something isn't right and he's becoming scared of me and I need to think about my unborn baby as well as him.

I feel I just want to be alone. I have a bunch of tablets in my hands and I just feel I need to harm myself or someone else that I felt has harmed me. My mum keeps texting me telling me that I need to get immediate help and earlier she threatened getting me sectioned.

I'm so worried that my son will get taken from his family. I know that if I did get sectioned he wouldn't be able to come with me but I have family that can more than care and provide for him. I'm so scared and worried I don't want either of my babies to get taken off me but I need help else I'm going to end up ending it :(

[MyKingdomForBrie]

It's really good that you can acknowledge that you need help. I would take yourself to a&e and tell them all of this story and see where you go from there. I would say you need some medication in the short term to stabilise you so you're not a threat to your self and your family.

[gandalf456]

Could your son go with your mum or aunt? They would not put him into care and unless they really really had to

[Needcaffeinenow]

If you accept you need help and seek it out, it will not be held against you. You understand you need support and you understand the effect it is having on your family life. If social services get involved, they will make sure someone in your family can look after the kids firstly. They will not take them away but be supportive while you go through this crisis. Plenty of parents have mental health issues and go on to be quite stable etc with medication/therapy whatever it is they need.

[Hannah7889]

Yes he could go with either of them but I am so scared that they won't give my mum/aunt the opportunity and instead just take him in to care. He's such a shy boy and very attached to family and hates strangers I don't want to make him suffer :(

[JennyOnAPlate]

for you op.

Your son won't be taken into care when he has family members willing to care for him my love.

What he needs is for his mum to take herself to get help. Do you think you can go to a&e?

[Needcaffeinenow]

They won't take him into care, not when family are willing to look after him. Social Services get a bad rep, but they really do try to keep children with their families as they understand that ultimately that is what best. You need help and it isn't your fault. They will not hold that against you. In fact, I personally think you have a lot of strength to accept that you do, I know how hard it can be.