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Do I need help?

(4 Posts)
LostnConfused Thu 18-Feb-16 16:32:01

Name changed for this.

I have a 2YO DD. In the 3 months before she was born three very difficult things happened: 1) I was sexually assaulted at work and then frozen out by my boss, effectively ending a successful 10 year professional career; 2) a close and much loved relation was suddenly diagnosed with late stage cancer and died 2 weeks before DD was born; 3) we moved continents back to the UK. During the years we were away most of our friends had moved or we had become less close. I felt very isolated.

Coupled with that I had a very difficult birth and we don't have any relations near to help. I am NC with my parents after a miserable controlled childhood and early adulthood. My DH works very long hours and I was effectively alone with DD all day everyday.

I adore DD and we have a lot of fun together, but I have only had a couple of hours break from her since she was born. But after everything that happened the thought of going back to work terrifies me. I am therefore a SAHM. We go to lots of groups and classes but I haven't really made any new friends.

I have put on a lot of weight and don't seem to have the motivation to lose it. Recently things haven't been great with DH, I find him snappy and uncaring. Yesterday he snapped at me as soon as he walked through the door and I told him that I was not happy with the way he spoke to me. His response was that I should go to the doctors as I clearly clinically depressed.

I don't know whether I'm clinically depressed or not. I don't actively feel unhappy, just not particularly happy and unmotivated. I'm worried that if I go to the doctors I will then have a "history"of mental disorder that will have to be disclosed on forms for life-insurance etc. I don't really know if I need help or would just be wasting the doctor's time. What could they actually do?

If you've got this far, thanks for reading. I know it all sounds very woe-is-me so feel free to tell me to stop being so self-pitying.

Marchate Thu 18-Feb-16 16:42:51

Unless your husband is a doctor he can't say you are 'clinically depressed'. I expect what he's telling you is that he is no longer the centre of attention and he doesn't like it

Best to see your GP. She will decide if you need treatment. I would suggest that having gone through so much in a short time, you need support from DH. Instead he has chosen to be snappy and uncaring. Then, insult to injury, you are made to wonder if you have depression

Speak to the doctor soon. Tell her everything that has happened to make you sad, and don't be tempted to leave out the snappy comments!

Look after yourself

LostnConfused Thu 18-Feb-16 17:39:12

Thanks March - I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I agree DH's comment was pretty bloody unhelpful.

Marchate Thu 18-Feb-16 18:49:25

Unhelpful and unfair

Concentrate on your lovely DD, and yourself if you can. If he doesn't like it he knows what to do - put family before self!

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