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Working and distraught. Any advice(3 Posts)
This may turn out to be long and disjointed. I'd appreciate any help.
I work in a PT office role with 1 other person, though the post does not add up to 1 full time position. Been there 2-3 years. I started off quite well, though it was busy and needed a lot of focus. The pressure has built over all that time (think dealing with large numbers of people, that increase over a certain period with the result that various other people need to be brought into the team. The increase in the employees this time round is 7 new people on top of a payroll of c.25). There have been a lot of changes that are not entirely clear and seem to take a long time to penetrate or fathom out - then changes on the changes. The procedural matters loom large but are very difficult to handle to the satisfaction of people who manage them so most things are last minute or have to be corrected.
Without a lot of choice I attempted to do a big piece of work which is financially based, back in the Autumn, which affects a period in the year that is just coming up. It took a huge amount of time and at that point I despaired of it so much that I gave in my resignation (there are other factors in this too, regarding childcare particularly). I was in the position where I was partly confident in the functions of this budget but not confident about the data in it. I knew then that I could not make it work reliably but have kept plugging away, investigating, trying to get it to work. I did raise concerns about not feeling like the person to be able to do it, and there was some peripheral help, but the point I think is the data vs the amount it has to fit into, which it won't. Also, with the part time aspect, there is very little time to touch base with anyone in a way where more than just myself is working on it. My health suffered then - symptoms of heart problems but no proof of a cause. Was given anti depressants so feel as if it's me who is deluded. Plus, I didn't take them, and still haven't, ironically because I didn't know what effect they would have on my ability to work, although I have taken them before- which is why I have a decent resolve not to, as withdrawing was not pleasant.
I'm due to finish end of Feb (I extended from my original notice because actually the thought of leaving work made me theatrically sad). I think I do the rest of my job well and I'm told I will be missed etc. I'm now back to the finance stuff and have never felt so stressed as yesterday. I feel faint &7 dizzy today if trying to get up so am not at work.
I know I just have to survive a few more weeks but I feel I've got no more resources left, really absolutely none, and feel very responsible for the effect this budget is going to have, both of which I have to look in the face tomorrow and the coming weeks. I'm planning to go for a short recovery period and concentrate on health before a replacement job, but the whole lot scares me - stopping this, starting anything else. I have changed my mind a lot about staying on or not, though I think the only sensible answer is to go, but even thinking it over makes me both stressed and undecided. If you were me, what would you do? How would you get through it?
Anyone had overpayment of tax credits and how did they get you to repay am still entitled but not to even half as much
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