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Anxious since becoming a parent

(2 Posts)
Hezaire Sun 31-Jan-16 19:32:06

Apologies if this seems so much less serious than the rest of the discussions under this section.

Since becoming a parent I have become really anxious. The kids are 1 and 3 and I'm starting to get irrational fears.
For example tomorrow I'm driving down the motorway with the kids to see a friend, I know tomorrow I'll probably feel fine and when I'm driving I'll feel fine but RIGHT NOW I'm worried about several things such as breaking down on the motorway or crashing.
I've got a big birthday coming up at the end of the year and we talked about going out for a meal, just me and my husband but I'm worried about, similar story, being ran over on the way there and leaving the children childless.

Any advice here? Is there anything I can do? I don't feel like it's taking over my life but when I'm sat and not otherwise occupied I feel like how I'm describing.

My mum takes medication for anxiety and I know for example she never got on a plane after we were born incase something happened.

I don't know if this is better off in parenting or mental health.

Thanks

SpottedLorax Sun 31-Jan-16 22:11:01

I get terrible intrusive thoughts and anxiety regarding terrible things happening to my son. It is awful and I really sympathise.

I try (I'm not sure how much I succeed) to rationalise it thus...

Anxiety is an adaptive thing that's gone too far. So let's say you're walking by a canal and you're terribly anxious your child will fall and drown. What does this makes you do? It makes you hold on to the child hand and keep a hawk like eye on them. Perhaps it reminds you to teach them water safety. These anxious thoughts have actually made the child safer.

So anxiety is a way of getting us to rehearse possible negative outcomes in our minds, safely, so we can come up with strategies. You can see how a little of this is a good thing, but too much is really distressing. We've clearly evolved to plan ahead and figure out where danger might lie, then plan to avoid it.

Like I say, this is an intellectual response to an emotional problem, so it never quite works for me. I'm still terribly anxious!

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