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Postnatal depression - is it? If it is, then what?

(5 Posts)
twolittleboysonetiredmum Thu 28-Jan-16 11:32:13

I'm hoping this is the best section for this post.
I had dc3 9 weeks ago and am unsure whether how I'm feeling is age/exhaustion related or something more.
I've become increasingly obsessed with my own and everyone else's mortality and feeling quite nihilistic. I don't feel life is pointless as such - in a suicidal way - but do wonder at how pointless it all is as we're all going to die. I've become very anxious about dying but it's not stopping me doing everyday things. I've just turned 35 and wonder if the ageing thing is part of it?
I'm also being very self critical this time round. I feel awful I'm still so overweight/not exercising/not cleaning etc and am exhausted from trying to be supermum. I'm worried about letting my other two very young dc down - 2 and 3. My dc3 sleeps like a dream but I am still finding it challenging which seems ridiculous.
Basically - should I see a GP? Is this my personality now or am i depressed? If I am, what would they do anyway?

twolittleboysonetiredmum Thu 28-Jan-16 11:35:09

I'm Also very weepy but I guess that could be hormones/tiredness eugh

limon Thu 28-Jan-16 19:42:36

If I were you I'd go and see your GP. If it is pnd it would be a good thing to start getting help now rather than wait. obsession with death was one of my symptoms.

Fatrascals Thu 28-Jan-16 19:53:11

trying to be supermum. I'm worried about letting my other two very young dc down - 2 and 3. My dc3 sleeps like a dream but I am still finding it challenging which seems ridiculous.

There's a lot in those couple of sentences.
"Supermum" "worried" "letting down" "other two very young dc"

It really sounds like you should visit your GP and have a chat.

You don't need to be super mum, and whilst it's great that dc3 sleeps you still have a hell of a lot on your plate. AND you are using the fact that dc3 DOES sleep to beat yourself up for not being even more amazing ("seems ridiculous")

You are in the midst of an incredibly challenging time. Do you have a partner and/or friends and family support?

I remember going to the GP and just saying matter of factly that I didn't see myself living for more than a couple of years and I couldn't see myself seeing my kids grow up. Even now I'm not sure what I meant. I just had a feeling that I would die.... I wasn't thinking about suicide at all I just thought that I would die.

And that was apparently after the worst of my PND. I think PND is snide and sneaky and that is why it's so dangerous. We can't see the wood from the trees when we're in the midst of caring for a tiny, needy vulnerable baby.

Do see your GP.. And flowers and keep talking if you like

twolittleboysonetiredmum Thu 28-Jan-16 21:30:39

Thanks for the replies. I have a supportive husband but he's bogged down in it all and I wouldn't feel comfortable dumping on him emotionally really. We have lots of family but no support from them sadly.
What would the GP actually do if I have got it? I'm a bit worried about either a) crying there or b) there not really being a problem and it's just standard mid life crisis/postnatal exhaustion crap. Eugh.

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