Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Pray with me

(15 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

miserablesod Sun 17-Jan-16 17:02:13

That i won't wake up tomorrow

I've tried. Its not happening. The best place for me is to be buried with my child.

I'm not a good parent. In fact i am not good at anything. There is nothing left here for me. I don't feel sad anymore. I feel relief. Relief that there is a solution to feeling this way. I don't have to live this way.

I wish it was easy to opt out of life. Why force people to stay alive when their own mental health is killing them. Put me out of my misery please

Imnotaslimjim Sun 17-Jan-16 17:07:59

MS, you won't always feel like this I promise

There are plenty of lovely people here that can help, and can point you in the direction of proper help and I'm sure they'll be here soon

BeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 17-Jan-16 17:09:56

Hi miserablesod, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way flowers

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on jo@samaritans.org. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Doublebubblebubble Sun 17-Jan-16 17:10:53

As slimjim has said there will be other people along in a minute who will definitely be able to offer better advice but I'm here with a hand to hold yours if you want it. Xxx

HackerFucker22 Sun 17-Jan-16 17:11:33

Please can you ring the Samaritans.. 116 123

It's free and someone will be able to help you.

X

OddSocksHighHeels Sun 17-Jan-16 17:12:22

I won't pray with you at all.

Your MH can get better. Have you received any professional/medical help at all?

If you feel like you actually will go through with attempting suicide then call the Samaritans or take yourself to A&E. Is there anybody that can be with you right now?

If you haven't already seen your GP then get hold of them as soon as you can. One step at a time, just focus on the immediate future and getting through the next hour at a time.

There's plenty of people here to hold your hand and talk things through.

jollyjester Sun 17-Jan-16 17:15:21

Hi OP have you any one you can talk to in RL?

Please ring the samaritans as suggested above. There is always a solution even if it doesn't feel like it.

notquitegrownup2 Sun 17-Jan-16 17:22:00

Sweetheart, I will pray - for peace for you, and also to for you to find a way to keep going: not for ever, but for now, whilst your other child/children needs you so much. You will have peace one day, but in the meantime, try not to expect too much of yourself darling. You may not feel like a good parent now, but your child loves you and will understand, if not now, in the future, what you are battling.

There are people on here who have been through the same thing as you, and who will hold your hand as you go through this awful, awful journey. And one day, you too may be able to help someone who feels that they can't go on, and feels that no-one understands.

Keep posting here. Keep on reading. And in the meantime, do you want to tell us about the darling child you no longer have with you? Or your other family?

originalmavis Sun 17-Jan-16 17:26:20

Who is with you in the real world?

notquitegrownup2 Mon 18-Jan-16 11:49:01

Just checking in OP, to see if you feel up to posting today.

Thinking of you

miserablesod Mon 18-Jan-16 17:41:42

Sorry for not replying sooner. I managed to drag myself out of the house today as i had to do a presentation at uni. I totally messed that up and will no doubt get a fail. I give up. Not doing anything well anymore.

One thing i am sick of is the ups and downs of my mental illness. Today was managable but tomorrow i could be right down again.

FriendofBill Mon 18-Jan-16 17:46:18

Then keep it in the day.
Today is ok, stay here a while.

Well done on fetting out and delivering a presentation. That's brilliant.

FriendofBill Mon 18-Jan-16 17:46:41

Getting out, sorry.

OwlCurrency Mon 18-Jan-16 18:02:02

Oh, OP. You are being too hard on yourself.

You did well today. It's OK if it wasn't perfect.

notquitegrownup2 Wed 20-Jan-16 19:02:27

When do you get the results of your presentation? It may not be as bad as you expected.

However, you sound so tired and so very very sad. You have lost a child, and you have other children depending on you. We do tend to put ourselves through a huge strain in life - all credit to you for keeping on with your education, but do talk to your tutor and to us and about whether it is a good thing, getting you out of the house, and giving you something to build on, and focus on or whether it is too much for you at the moment.

Your Uni will probably have a good counselling service, so if you haven't used it yet, do check it out. And let us know if you want to talk here too

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now