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Anxiety: How do I work out what is actually causing my anxiety? Or is it just 'general anxiety'?

(6 Posts)
CherryPlum Tue 12-Jan-16 15:26:17

I'm suffering from anxiety. I know I am, but I can't bring myself to go to the doctor just yet. I would like to work out what is causing my anxiety so that perhaps I can change that area of my life, and get rid of the anxiety. BUT, I can't seem to pick out what is actually causing it, and it feels as though EVERYTHING causes it.

Is anxiety always 'general'? Is it normal to not be able to work out specifically what's causing it?

I have two DC, my eldest is 9yrs old and has always been highly demanding and challenging. I'm sure her difficult behaviour contributes to my anxiety. I work 3 days a week and I collect the DC from school on those days which means relying on public transport to get me from work to school and I dread being late for school pick-up. I feel like I'm forever running to places. I worry a lot about my job (a basic part-time admin job), for example I worry that I'm going to do something wrong or not finish something and make an embarrasing and stupid cock-up. I get stressed when I can't get all the housework done, or with all the household stuff I need to do like buying presents for parties for DC's friends, and organising their after-school activities and I just feel like there's too much to do all the time. I know I'm suffering anxiety even just from the fact that I speak too quickly, I do everything quickly and I have racing thoughts. I don't sleep well and I have a tight-chested feeling all the time, like I can't take a deep breath.

Has anyone got any advice for me regarding how I should nail down the problem and find out exactly what's doing this to me? I should be finding life much easier than I am, I know. I'm very lucky to work part-time, I should be getting on with it and finding enjoyment instead of feeling panicked all the time. I find myself being snappy, grumpy, and lacking in energy.

CrunchyNu77er Wed 13-Jan-16 18:34:49

Hi, I am exactly the same, I went to my GP two weeks ago and they suggested counselling, have you thought about that?

tormentil Wed 13-Jan-16 18:41:11

I started to take vitamin D3 and my generalised anxiety disappeared. I took a high does -5000IU. There's a long thread in general health on Vitamin D3, worth a read.

tobee Thu 14-Jan-16 12:01:44

Hello. I've had anxiety on and off for years. I remember reading something (actually about depression but the two are linked) that as humans we are hard wired to solve problems and so we try to do with our depression/anxiety. But actually this just contributes to the problem, we feel more anxious and depressed by not finding the answers. (Surely that means we are a failure?) And we find ourselves in a spiral. So it's totally normal to want to try to work out what's causing your anxiety but not really helpful. There may not be a pin pointable reason. What I found helped was working out my triggers for anxiety instead. I managed these triggers by trying to accept them rather than avoid them, and,eventually, they mostly disappeared. And if they pop up again I recognise them.

As for seeing a gp, I did do that after a while, and got counselling and then group cbt, on the nhs. The group cbt helped most because it made me feel a) not alone and b) more in control. Not being in control really bothered me. The one to one counselling was quite emotionally challenging. While I was on the waiting list, I read books about anxiety which really helped.

Sorry for long reply. Good luck.

loooopo Thu 14-Jan-16 21:26:39

tobee can you share which books on anxiety helped.

I would also agree with your comment. We should not be looking for a logical, tangible thing to address as that is an ever decreasing circle to gain control - and is probably how people end up depressed thru exhaustion or OCD through fear.

I have just started sensory based counselling which involves switching off the logic in the head to control when anxiety hijacks you - but instead embracing the feeling of stress and anxiety and letting that feeling pass thru you and out the other side. Riding the wave by deep breathing and mindfullness.

tobee Fri 15-Jan-16 01:38:46

Yes. I had panic attacks at first and then general anxiety on top of that. The books which I particularly liked were : -

Panic Attacks by Christine Ingham ( a fellow sufferer)
Understanding Panic Attacks by Dr Roger Baker
The Feeling Good Handbook by David D Burns
When Panic Attacks by David D Burns
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (Teach Yourself ) by Christine Wilding & Aileen Milne
Essential Help for Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies by Rhena Branch
Mindfulness meditation CDs by Jon Kabat Zinn
Also Marcus Trescothick's ( the cricketer) autobiography dealing with anxiety Coming Back to Me.
These are just some of the books I read so you can see I was pretty desperate at times!!

I also went on chat rooms. They could be helpful but sometimes they just told me of other things to worry about!

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