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Such a failure - will I ever be able to take my baby out?

(10 Posts)
AppleDragon Mon 11-Jan-16 14:35:29

I get so anxious at the thought of going out with my 7 month old DS2. I can go to local 'safe places' with some mental preparation and am happy going anywhere if someone is with me.

I had this issue with DS1 who is four now. After getting stuck out with him in bad weather, I had a panic attack on a trip out with him. I worried that I wasn't good enough to look after him. I was on anti-depressants for a year and had CBT. I was able to manage my anxious thoughts but have never overcome them. And now they've started again.

I see other people taking their children out, confident that they are able to look after them. My DH has no problem and can't understand why taking them out is such an issue for me. I've made a GP appointment but feel so down about it all. Why can't I just snap out of it??

Joopy Mon 11-Jan-16 14:43:02

flowers you can do it but there's no pressure.
First get organised, do you have nappies, spare clothes and snacks in your nappy bag? Are you prepared for rain?
Ok, once you're ready how about a quick walk around the block or to the nearest shop? If anything happens you can come straight home.

steppemum Mon 11-Jan-16 14:49:00

does it help if you plan for an emergency, or does it make it worse?

so - if x happens, I could do a, b or c.

Glad you made an appointment with your GP, you sound as if you could do with some help again.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Mon 11-Jan-16 14:57:48

flowers I remember feeling this way with DD. Awful feeling and so hard to shake.

I only recently took CBT, but something I really valued from it and sort of echoed pp's suggestion is the small, manageable goals.

So, today, say, just a walk around the block.

Then, when you feel ready, walk to the coffee shop.


Don't worry about baby groups or children centres or the like. Just little jots out to get out of the house.

Good luck, and I hope you get some help from your gp.

Flingingmelon Mon 11-Jan-16 14:57:55

I think you know why you can't snap out of it. Easier said than done, right?

Can you remember the CBT techniques you learnt? Did you find any of them particularly worked? Can you resurrect them for this?

I forget the names but reading your post, the one where you gently and repeatedly put yourself in the circumstances that trigger your anxiety springs to mind. You say you can go anywhere with mates so that's a start. What about going into a shop with Your LO whilst your mate / family etc stays in the car or waits out side? Does that sound like a possible first step?

AppleDragon Mon 11-Jan-16 15:41:04

Luckily there's a community centre at the end of the street so I have managed to get to groups. Have been out for a walk around the block today - felt a bit tearful but was ok. Trying not to get cross with myself for not going further

AppleDragon Mon 11-Jan-16 15:42:43

I remember my therapist asking me to get used to the feelings of anxiety. Just worried that it's unfair on my LO to see me so anxious

Joopy Mon 11-Jan-16 20:12:24

Don't be cross, you did great. Well done you flowers

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Mon 11-Jan-16 22:56:55

Great job. Honestly, you even go to groups? That was huge for me flowers

AppleDragon Tue 12-Jan-16 16:56:31

Thanks everyone. Planning to go to a local group tomorrow and have GP appointment booked for Monday

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