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Social anxiety is stopping me getting out

(3 Posts)
paul63209 Sat 02-Jan-16 22:54:56

I am a 23 year old man.

Basically I am quite shy and quiet and reserved. I prefer 1 to 1 conversations rather than large group conversations.

I am a member of a walking group and that is good because you can just choose a person to talk whilst you are walking along and it's easy.

However they have social events like meals at a restaurant. I want to go but I am too afraid of being shy and looking stupid and awkward because that's what usually happens.

The reason is when you are sat around a table everybody talks as a group and I don't know what to say or when the right time to say something is.

I want to go to these things but I am just too afraid.

How can I overcome this?

Thank you

ProfessorPreciseaBug Sun 03-Jan-16 10:11:01


From my own experience in similar situations, most of the time you find you are sitting at long tables and only have a person each side of you to talk with. So what looks like a large crowd is actually a cosy gathing of four /five around a small part of the table.

People talk with each other before in small groups of two or three before sitting down. As to conversation, talk about the walk...

dumdidumdum Sun 03-Jan-16 13:24:52

I find that my idea of what's going to happen is always worse than the actual event. i just need to be brave enough to get myself there in the first place. Is there someone in the walking group that you could arrange to meet first for a quick drink? I find this helps me because i get 'warmed up' socially with one person. I also find it more difficult to back out of meeting one person than a group so although it's easy for me to sit at home and say oh no one will miss me at the group dinner, if i've arranged to meet x first then I can't not go.

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