Feel done with life

[Neverletmego27]

I've had depression and PTSD and a whole host of other things (anxiety, bpd traits, psychotic symptons) for nearly 2 years now.
I have tried to kill myself more times than I can count
I was in hospital just before xmas, then in respite.
I'm on diazapem, ablify and doulextine (max dose).
Nothing seems to be working
I've got pain and flashbacks and anxiety that won't go away
Feel a burden to everyone
my dd is 8 and she's been staying with friends. I'm scared I'll never get her back.
I'm trying to trawl my way through an MA (which I love) presently, but can't help thinking I've fucked it up.

I'm beyond help.
Just want it all to stop.
Please help me. Some one. Anyone.

[Murphyslaw21]

Don't give up. It's hard and seems impossible at times. Show your child love and affection. Make sure they understand why they are staying with friends. But stay strong to yourself.

[Neverletmego27]

It's not getting better. I tried to end my life today. Waiting fir hone treatment to come and see me. They say lorazepam should help. They should be out within a couple of hours.

[PandaPop55]

I know it doesn't seem like it but you can and will get better.

[Murphyslaw21]

It will get better stay strong

[Murphyslaw21]

What has made you feel like this ??

[RandomMess]

I'm not sure why or how I started to improved after one of the worst stretches in my life a few years back but hang on in there.

I have to say I don't think duloxetine helped me at all, if anything made me worse It's taking me years to get off it!! It made me feel so "dead" inside I couldn't get any temporary joy in anything.

What support and help and treatment are getting besides the drugs?

[Neverletmego27]

I don't know I just get phases where I feel really suicidal and have overwhelming suicidal thoughts. I don't want to feel like this. I am just done with life. I've pushed so of my friends away and I'm becoming too much to handle. I think everyone has had enough of me. My friends have now named themselves as ny dds foster parents. That really hurt. I can't do this anymore.

[Neverletmego27]

I was having therapy but they have stopped it. I take caterpillar and duolextine usually, but they have given me diazepam, lorazepam and zoplicone to help me out.

[PandaPop55]

I thought I was done with life not so long ago, but someone i confided in helped me to see that i did not want my life to end, i just wanted the pain and suffering, the hell i was enduring to stop. Because i was ill my head couldn't see any other way out. But thar other way is there, it is not always easy and it takes time but it is there.

[RandomMess]

I think it is very very difficult to cope without any support through therapy/CPN it sounds like your meds aren't working well enough for you.

Remember your friends are doing what they think is best for your DD but you are and always be her Mum and she will always love you and will want a relationship with you.

Have you contacted the crises team? I know in our area they are appalling due to lack of funding

[Neverletmego27]

Yeah the crisis team just came out and gave me some larazopem and said they'll see me in the morning.

[RandomMess]

Do you feel strong enough to ask for a complete review of your meds? Are they confident in their diagnosis or do you feel that they don't really know what is going on?

[Neverletmego27]

They have no idea what is going on.

[RandomMess]

All the more reason to hang on in there then as there are other options/combinations for them to try.

[Murphyslaw21]

How you doing OP