I've had depression and PTSD and a whole host of other things (anxiety, bpd traits, psychotic symptons) for nearly 2 years now. I have tried to kill myself more times than I can count I was in hospital just before xmas, then in respite. I'm on diazapem, ablify and doulextine (max dose). Nothing seems to be working I've got pain and flashbacks and anxiety that won't go away Feel a burden to everyone my dd is 8 and she's been staying with friends. I'm scared I'll never get her back. I'm trying to trawl my way through an MA (which I love) presently, but can't help thinking I've fucked it up.
I'm beyond help. Just want it all to stop. Please help me. Some one. Anyone.
I don't know I just get phases where I feel really suicidal and have overwhelming suicidal thoughts. I don't want to feel like this. I am just done with life. I've pushed so of my friends away and I'm becoming too much to handle. I think everyone has had enough of me. My friends have now named themselves as ny dds foster parents. That really hurt. I can't do this anymore.
I thought I was done with life not so long ago, but someone i confided in helped me to see that i did not want my life to end, i just wanted the pain and suffering, the hell i was enduring to stop. Because i was ill my head couldn't see any other way out. But thar other way is there, it is not always easy and it takes time but it is there.