Bear with me, it's been a rough year (2015). I've had problems with depression all my adult life, not helped by an EA exH who I am finally divorcing.
But I've actually started thinking that I'm awesome, and that if people don't like me that's their problem, not mine. It's still early days but I'm hoping it's the start of something better. And I'd like to post this so that if I slip down again I can remind myself that I got to this place, and I can get there again.
We're all awesome. It's not been an easy place to get to, and I'm pretty sure I won't always feel like this...I'm so used to feeling like I'm worthless that it feels quite alien to feel different. I'm pretty sure I've gone about it the wrong way, but I'm here and I can build on this.
I am sorry! but having read some of your recent self indulgent threads, yes I have too much time on my hands, and not in UK, I am not really sure you are in an accurate place to assess this sadly
You were upset last night relating to a gentleman with whom you had only been out once, declining your New Years Eve invitation!! very desperate I feel I am afraid.
You have also recently been discussing friends who have let you down for no reason, and an ex you had been seeing disappearing. I don't know, and it may seem hard, but it does seem the common denominator in all these threads is YOU. Perhaps you need to look closely at yourself in all this.
Erm, yes I know my recent threads have been self-indulgent but I'm kind of at a loss to think why having a long hard look at myself, and deciding I can't assess myself would be helpful. I know I have a long, long way to go before I am anywhere near healthy, but for the first time in a very long while, I actually think I deserve to get better. I am beginning to think that if guys turn me down it's their loss not mine, and this is huge for me.
Wow can't believe someone went to the trouble of being negative towards this post! All the other posts that person mentioned doesnt mean you forgo feeling better about yourself. You are the only one who can assess whether they feel in a better place than you were before. Well done on you for realising you're awesome and try to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible. It's over coming all of the lets downs and get downs that builds us and makes us stronger and you feeling better about yourself is strength!
Just checking in to say, while the past few weeks have been difficult, I'm still doing ok, I have brief moments of awesome but generally feel at least that I'm good enough. I'm doing a bloody good job with my kids as a single parent and it feels good that I can finally say that as I've always felt I was letting my kids down. But my boys are awesome and that's mainly down to me.