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can't make a decision

(3 Posts)
cansu Tue 29-Dec-15 21:59:50

Have quite a lot of stress in my life. Have two dc with asd. My eldest is very challenging to care for and both myself and my partner are frankly depressed and stressed out. Help available is minimal despite asking ss for it. We get some respite but haven't had any for a couple of months. Am starting to feel there is no good solution to our problems. My partner is also on the spectrum and copes very badly with stress, becoming impossible to live with. He is also an ostrich and his sole solution to any problem is to retreat and stay in his bed, feeling unwell. I have thought about leaving so that we both only have to cope with the caring on a part time basis, have thought about residential school for our ds but feel fearful of this and terribly guilty and I suppose I have also thought about getting in my car and driving somewhere, possibly not living anymore hence posting here. I just feel trapped. I am seen as a coper and no one would dream that I am feeling like this. I cry often when I am alone and feel increasingly desperate and unhappy. How can I sort out what to do? My partner is in many ways like having a third disabled person to care for as he is incapable of discussing our problems in any rational or helpful way. I feel v alone with this.

PandaPop55 Tue 29-Dec-15 23:18:42

Hi Cansu, Sorry to hear you are feeing like this. It sounds like a difficult situation and I can understand that it is causing you to feel stressed. If you can I think it would be an idea to try and open up to someone you trust and let them know how you are feeling, a close friend, relative or GP? I find talking about how I feel helps me a lot. Is your partner getting any help so he can deal with stress better so he cab support you more? Are you able to get any time for yourself, while your DC are at school or could your partner cope with them alone a few hours a week in the evening or weekend maybe? Is there any chance of increasing the respite help?

Please try not to feel alone.

ProfessorPreciseaBug Fri 01-Jan-16 10:35:05

Cansu,
Does it help to simply write down what you are feeling? If so, this is a great place. Most people here have been through some sort of mental "events" so we all have some understanding of what you are going through.

please keep posting...
Proff.

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