This is going to be fairly long so apologies...
I suffer with health anxiety and hypochondria. Every chest pain is a heart attack, every headache is a brain tumour... However my main "thing" is cancer. Every little symptom scares me. I am fully convinced I have cancer. I check obsessively for lumps. It's hard to explain but it's almost as if I can feel that I've got it in me already. I truly believe that I will die soon from cancer, I've even gone over in my head what will happen to my little girl when I've died.
I recently had 2 moles removed that were pre-cancerous. I have a slight ocd thing that means I can't leave skin imperfections alone. Spots, scabs, dry skin, I have to pick at it. If I know it's there I can't function until I've got rid of it. Part of this makes me bite the loose skin inside my cheeks which I have been told can cause mouth cancer. I constantly see cancer everywhere, newspapers, tv programmes, films, adverts, I can't get away from it.
I feel stupid because there are people who really DO have cancer and I don't mean to undermine them in any way. But I cannot stop obsessing. It's hard to describe but all I can really say is I am convinced I have cancer or will get it and die young.
I think it started either around the time my daughter was born or when my grandad died (he was perfectly healthy then one day he went to the dr feeling ill, turns out he had cancer absolutely everywhere and he died within 2 weeks) I just don't know how to re-wire my brain. I'm not convinced cbt would help me as a mental health nurse told me it's something you have to be open minded to which I have to admit I'm not.
Any advice would be appreciated, please if you don't understand health anxiety/hypochondria and think it's "stupid" or whatever, don't comment. Thank you :)
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Mental health
Hate thinking I'm going to die
6 replies
Bubblegum89 · 29/12/2015 18:13
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