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(12 Posts)
LovelyBath Tue 22-Dec-15 14:42:35

Finding the Christmas stuff a bit of a struggle, is anyone else? My family is not too bad, they don't really have expectations as such and are pretty easygoing. DH's is quite big, and it is the done thing to send cards and presents to e.g. cousins, their children and partners etc and all has to be carefully chosen and with closer relatives it's all about asking what they want and getting it which to me seems to be a waste of time, but it all needs to be right or horror of horrors could be the 'wrong' thing etc etc. I just find it all stressful so leave DH to do it. yesterday we had the usual fuss of MIL ringing as driving to vast family miles away with a car of gifts and did we have ours ready to take, then today it's another call about sending more gifts off in a parcel special delivery to other vast family in another location and did we want to send ours too etc...I said we might just send cards this year. Now I've just had several texts about what DH and children want, and have to ask about what other close family want etc. Argh! Also feeling quite guilty as we don't actually cook the lunch or anything as usually go to SIL which is lovely. It's all just a bit overwhelming to me, I'm Scottish and I'm not sure if it's that but it's just not such a fuss, well wasn't for me growing up. It's more about the New Year I think. Also struggling a bit with having no time to myself as the children are off school and feeling guilty if they're just watching telly and like I should be doing things with them...but it's grim and windy out and can't face it. I can't really share this in RL as will be seen as 'being negative' etc but thought you might understand on here...

vxa2 Tue 22-Dec-15 20:56:14

I know exactly how you feel. I find Chritmas really hard as it brings back some difficult memories but even without those it can be very overwhelming. Perhaps try and think about taking just a few minutes out of all the chaos to catch your breath. I know that might not be especially helpful but I can identify with how you feel and you are certainly not alone.

ProfessorPreciseaBug Tue 22-Dec-15 23:21:05

It can be a fery difficult time of year...
Why do we think that "because it's christmas" we will instantly be friends with peiple we hardly see for most of the year?

Sorry if that sounds like bah humbug...

colouringinagain Wed 23-Dec-15 00:07:14

Lovelybath I could have written your post. Feeling competely overwhelmed here too. Although we're not hosting we have some complicated logistics travelling and staying over and contributing to various meals. I've done all the Christmas shopping and now have a lot of wrapping to do...

I know what you mean about being negative, people only want a cheerful reply to the how are you, are you ready for Christmas.

Yes yes yes to struggling with dcs at home. This afternoon it was so noisy I could cry.

I managed to fall asleep on the sofa at 8 I've felt so rough today, but am now of course wide awake (grrrrr)

Dh says it will be sunny tomorrow so I hope that helps a little.

LovelyBath Wed 23-Dec-15 12:07:37

Yes it's a bit sunnier today. I'd quite like to go out, but have to stay in for deliveries (sigh) however a kind mum friend is taking the youngest out to the park. Can't help feeling like counting down the days till can have a bit of freedom again

colouringinagain Wed 23-Dec-15 21:43:11

Glad to hear about your friend. How it helped a bit. I am also looking forward to done freedom, that's just how it is isn't it? Me and kids met up with a friend this pm which helped - good escape from all the busyness. I liked the sun. Trying not to think about tomorrow though!

LovelyBath Thu 24-Dec-15 12:05:04

Thanks, yes it will soon be over at least it's meant to be sunny tomorrow and less stormy.

Fupfamilysurvivor Fri 25-Dec-15 02:00:26

Sat here shaking and feeling sick. Been an awful year with family stuff,I'm always worse at this time of year anyway (partly memories of tense, violent ruined Christmases).

I want tomorrow to be as peaceful and fun as possible for dd but in reality I'm dreading it. Can anyone recommend any strategies? I've tried usual but they aren't working (distraction, focused breathing etc).

If it was just me I think I'd just spend day in bed! I will feel a little better in the morning but I also know I'll get worse as the spray goes on and I really really don't want to ruin dd's Christmas.

Ocd is my main thing and behaviours I'd got rid of years ago have come back in last few weeks.

ProfessorPreciseaBug Fri 25-Dec-15 09:06:45

Can I suggest trying to not be perfect..

It is very easy to try and make everything into the perfect big day and get het up about small details. The magazines are full of pictures of people setting the perfect Christmas table... telly is full of films about the big christmas miracle.. and we soooo want to get it special...

But as long as the turkey (if you sre having one) is not under-cooked (risk of food poisoning there).... Nothing really matters. If home is a tip... it is your tip. it it your place with your stuff around you. If dinner is late, because you forgot something suggest eating mince pies to avoid people getting angry because of hunger... (low blood sugar can affect non diabetics and it makes everyone irritable when they are hungry and waiting to eat)...

In the end, nothing really matters.... it is just a day with a meal... I must leave now... we have to be off to suffer the in laws boil in the bag turkey... the food will be wousy, but who cares, our host means well. They will be stressed...

keep pisting..

willowcatkin111 Fri 25-Dec-15 10:06:38

Thanks Professor that helps. I am living minute by minute and waiting for this evening when it will all be over. Expected at narcissistic mothers for lunch which I am dreading. Dcs know when the time comes I may not make it and are OK with that.

primitivemom Tue 29-Dec-15 01:40:52

I feel exactly the same, totally overwhelmed. I find New Years even worse and depressing sad

colouringinagain Tue 29-Dec-15 20:03:57

flowersbrewcakewine to everyone struggling.

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