I drag my feet about getting things done every single day, despite knowing full well that starting earlier and being more organised would lead to a relaxed happy day. In the mornings I procrastinate and procrastinate and convince myself that I still have time to shower, make packed lunches, etc etc etc, until it is clearly too late and my anxiety during the last few minutes before me and the DC get out of the house is raised to fever pitch - I am racing around almost in tears, my breathing is too fast and I make the kids' mornings crap before they even get to school.
I don't understand what it is that deludes me into thinking that 'this morning is different, I still have plenty of time'. I can't do packed lunches the night before, I just get unbelievably tired and can barely get up the stairs to bed - and I HATE making the lunches so much as all three DC are so fussy and it takes a stupid, disproportionate amount of brainpower trying to figure out what I have and what they'll eat. I dread doing the packed lunches every day.
I just don't know why I make things so difficult for myself. On the few occasions I have meal planned for the evening, for example, my life runs so much more smoothly and it is SUCH a relief not spending the entire day worrying about what I might be throwing together for dinner ...
Why why why????? I feel if I could identify why I'm like this I might have some hope of changing. It's as if I don't want to grow up and be a capable, organised adult. But WHY???
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Mental health
Can anyone throw any insight into why I continually sabotage myself?
88 replies
JammingtonDodger · 08/12/2015 10:03
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