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dilemma

(19 Posts)
cymrukernow Thu 03-Dec-15 09:15:13

I am on week 4 on Sertraline for anxiety and depression . I have days when I sometimes feel ok but mostly feeling miserable with terrible headaches. Hate myself for being pathetic.

We have booked a long haul holiday for Xmas - me DH and 2 DCs , leaving next week. The thought of travelling so far fills me with dread. But it would be a huge waste of money if we didn't go and I want to see my family there. I'm
Just afraid I will get anxiety panic attacks and not enjoy any of it. Find it difficult to leave he house. What would you do?

NanaNina Thu 03-Dec-15 19:01:55

I'm on Sertraline (and 2 other ADs) and get bad days and good days, mornings are worse and I pick up through the afternoon if I' lucky. You aren't pathetic - you have a depressive illness but it's a deceitful illness because it makes us feel like there's something we should be able to do about it, whereas we don't feel like that with a physical illness.

4 weeks isn't very long - what dose are you on? I can imagine how scared you are at this long haul holiday. Do you think you are anxious as well as depressed. Might be worth asking the GP for diazepam to help you get through the holiday (they don't like prescribing them as they can be addictive) but if you explained the situation they might prescribe them.

It's very tempting to stay at home I know but on balance I think I'd go if I were you especially as you're going to see family. You'll need to explain to them that you are unwell at present. Will DH look after you on the journey?

cymrukernow Thu 03-Dec-15 21:18:40

Thank you Nananina
I think I should go too, but it is a scary situation. I know if I was well I would be desperate for this holiday. My DH will help me but I am nervous about DCs seeing me panicking.

jemimavintage Thu 03-Dec-15 21:41:09

You sound a little bit like me cymrukernow. When I feel anxious I don't want anyone to see me...esp my daughter.. My fear is that she'll see me and start becoming anxious herself. I travel back and forth to USA every single year...for 6 months of every single year... I have had to use diazepam in the past for the travel and for certain social events over here.. I try so hard not to. Sometimes I can manage it, sometimes I can't.

So long haul travel, as Nananina said, try the GP for diazepam perhaps. Even if you had it with you, so you knew you had something just incase.. The kids will be really well distracted on the plane too...and at some point, very tired!! For you, I also recommend adult colouring books.. They're really good for distracting the mind..

As far as being over on your hols and with the fam, just a case of doing your best. We're not robots... We try hard to manage these things, but sometimes it just isn't possible.. Hopefully you'll be able to manage it, with all the other distractions you'll have going on.

I know exactly what you're going through.... We really have to try to ditch the 'pathetic' thoughts. We're not pathetic, we just have this particular issue and we need to be pretty damn resourceful to find ways to get through things that other people totally take for granted.

Hugs

Jem

cymrukernow Thu 03-Dec-15 21:48:06

Thank Jem

It's good to hear from those that understand. I find it hard to talk to people around me.

At least I am going to see my sister who will look after me. I have some diazepam - can it be taken on top of Sertraline ?

jemimavintage Thu 03-Dec-15 21:58:05

I think it can, yes.. Talk to your GP about it. When I feel that I've got to do something that I absolutely cannot cope with, I take it beforehand. But if it's something that I think I might just be able to get through, I avoid it (knowing that I still do have it with me).

Great that you have your sister to look after you too. Really pleased to hear that. As I said, try not to beat yourself up over this. SO many people have this issue, in all walks of life, you'd be surprised. It's not a weakness, it's just something that people have, and it just needs to be managed as best as it can be, with whatever can be used...not always meds of course (mediation, counselling, reading/research, exercise etc)..

The ADs did nothing for my issues btw, but there are plenty on here who say they have helped. It's a difficult one really, with ADs, as far as whether they offer benefit or not..

Hugs

Jem

DebussyHead Thu 03-Dec-15 23:04:01

I feel for you that must be daunting. But with your sister and Dh I think you should go. You can take diazepam with setraline, my Dr prescribed them together as he said the diazepam would help ease the anxiety spike s in first few days on setraline. Just having it with you might ease the anxiety. And some meditation apps for the plane like Headspace might be good. All the best, I hope you get on ok.

cymrukernow Fri 04-Dec-15 07:43:33

Woke up this morning absolutely sh**ng myself about this trip- thinking about how anxious I will be and how I just want to stay home sad.

jemimavintage Fri 04-Dec-15 15:21:46

cymru - only you know what you can tolerate but see how you feel throughout the day. Feelings like that CAN change during the course of the day. For some people the mornings are the worst..

Also, sometimes all I wanna do is stay home, but we do have to make some efforts..and it's bloody hard, it really is. On the other hand, a long haul trip is a lot for an anxious person, I know only too well.. It can be done tho!!!

Hugs

Jem

cymrukernow Fri 04-Dec-15 22:34:18

Thanks Jem for your kind words. I must stay strong - I know I can do it! Had an appointment with a psychiatrist today, he recommends upping my AD dosage, also diazepam for travelling if I need it. Also was very encouraging that I would get over my depression. So I'm feeling more positive now.

jemimavintage Sat 05-Dec-15 23:04:50

Great stuff!!!! I'm so pleased. Don't expect not to feel concerned or anxious about it, it's perfectly 'normal' for folks like us. Keep us posted on how you're getting on.

Hugs

Jem

cymrukernow Sun 06-Dec-15 14:05:44

So we have decided we're going. Have a few things to sort out. But most of the fear has gone. Instead of thinking " miss the plane ... Plane crash ..... Kids being a nightmare for 12 hr flight" I'm thinking "just get on the plane ....headphones .....DH to hold my hand"
Hopefully I can keep myself calm for the next 4 days.smile

jemimavintage Sun 06-Dec-15 18:11:44

Woo hoo, good one girlie!! Just remember, it's perfectly normal to have all of those concerns you mentioned (even a person without this issue gets stressed when travelling. My mother in law is the least anxious person I know in every day life but she's worse than me when travelling..).. but yes, remember to let some of the joy in too.

You have every opportunity to have a brilliant time.. And any minor wobbles, just try to distract yourself and relax as much as you can.

Hugs

Jem

cymrukernow Wed 09-Dec-15 07:37:08

Aaarrgh stressing like crazy! Going to the airport early tomorrow - wish me luck! confused

jemimavintage Fri 11-Dec-15 18:21:39

Good luck cymrukernow!!! You'll be there by now hopefully.. Let us know how you got on.. Hopefully, ok!! smile

cymrukernow Sat 12-Dec-15 01:40:15

Well I DID it! Was the most stressed person ever at Heathrow -surprised I didn't get arrested for suspicious behaviour. Just kept reminding myself that I had committed to going. I took 4mg diazepam before boarding and took another 2 mg every 4 hrs for the first 13 hour flight. Once we were in the air it was easy to forget we were 30,000 ft up. I was on one of those huge a380 planes but booked the econ upstairs seats which was a quiet cabin. Managed to distract myself with my meditation apps and playing Tiny Wings for about 4 hrs! Even slept for 2 hrs.

The next flight was shorter - 5 hrs- and a little more stressful as DD aged 9 was exhausted and travel sick but managed to get through it with another top of of diazepam. It was all worth it to see my beautiful sister and her family.

This morning waking up in warm sunny Australia and am just astonished I have done it! Even leaving my house was a challenge a few weeks ago. Not saying I am "cured" but right now I feel a sense of achievement and happiness that has eluded me for months. Thanks to all who have posted here who have helped me decide to do it. smile

LizardBreath Sat 12-Dec-15 02:08:10

Well done cymru bet it feels ace to have done it! Enjoy your hols smile

jemimavintage Sun 13-Dec-15 02:01:18

Bloody brilliant cymru!!!!! It's amazing to me that one minute we can be dithering wrecks (me included) and the next we can do the most astonishing things... That's why it's best to always try to do sumut. If anything goes tits up, there are always ways of getting by....at the time, until it passes. Our nervous systems just seem to be a bit out of whack and these days, I just have to put up with it, using whatever strategies I can - and I end up being able to do most things.

Anyway, woo hoo.....so pleased for you and your fam!! smile

hefzi Sun 13-Dec-15 22:24:27

WELL DONE! And have a fantastic time smile

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