Saying Hello

[CowardlyLyon]

I am a middle aged woman who has been through a very tough 4-5 years. I've had to care for elderly in-laws, deal with a very stressful court case (now resolved in my favour thankfully), deal with huge financial worries (thanks to court case) which put our home at risk. We lived in fear of another bill dropping through the letter box. Then to top it all my DH injured himself playing sport and was a virtual invalid for months. Plus I had a demanding job and young children to take care of.

It was all so stressful because of all the uncertainty all the time. But somehow I managed and coped until just over 2 years ago. Then out of the blue I started suffering with anxiety pangs, feelings of dread and very low mood. It was awful and really frightening. I assumed it was a delayed reaction to all the stress I had been under for several years? But then they would all disappear and I would feel nearly back to normal for up to 2 weeks. At the same time my periods went a bit weird too. Some months barely had a bleed, other months quite heavy still. No hot flushes or such like, but my Mum never experienced them either.

I suspected I could be starting the menopause so soldiered on for another 6 months hoping the anxiety and depression would lessen with time. But they didn't, they got worse, so I ended up on HRT for 6 months. It helped a little bit, but was still getting plenty of days where I was crippled with anxiety and dread, and panicking about doing really mundane stuff. I even tried the BCP to see if that could control my symptoms. It seemed to work initially for a few weeks but for the last fortnight my nerves have been dreadful, I have broken down in tears to my DH a few times and had to take time off work.

All pretty shitty to be blunt.

I went back to my GP who suggested I try an AD (Mirtrazapine) as it works well in anxiety. He recognised that my symptoms seem cyclical, so were probably hormonally caused, but recommended that an AD would really help too.

I have another appointment in a few weeks at a menopause clinic to see what they suggest re: HRT help too.

So, here I am. On my second day of taking Mirtrazapine (feeling dopey but otherwise quite calm) and would like to join you all for help and support.

[hefzi]

Just popping in to say "hi" :-) It sounds like you've had a rough old time, but hopefully, you'll start to see an improvement soon - my DM had hideous depression that it transpired where entirely hormonally related, and once that was addressed, her depression cleared almost overnight, never to return: so if it turns out it's menopause-exacerbated too, hopefully, they'll be able to come up with something to help you further.

Hang in there, anyway - it can be a long road, but you've already done the hardest part and found help :-)

[CowardlyLyon]

Thank you hefzi. Sorry that your MIL suffered too. I now realise how few people (even doctors) know that the menopause can bring severe anxiety and depression. I had no idea. Thought I'd have a few sweats, then my periods would stop. Sorted. As it is my periods are still regular but very light, and I'm still only in myid 40s.

Anyway, I think I perhaps left it too long, and got too ill and low for the hormone therapy to be able to work properly? I am hoping that in time the AD will stabilise me and make me feel 'stronger' and then hopefully HRT might stand more of a chance?