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Need support but mn keep deleting my posts

(273 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 16:33:58

and I dont understand why.
It has really helped me being on here the last couple of days. Theres a man who I thought was a friend not treating me very nicely, but I need his help so I kind of stuck. But having people on here to talk to ws helping.

MN keep sayng to seek real life help, but I have and have detailed it on these threads. it feels so horrible, I feel so worthless and hopeless and s alone I cnt even post on an anonymous forum. I have written abut how services are responding, I have said I am going to contact MIND and things, why aren't i allowed support on here?

I would like MN to tell me what they think the servces are going to do, cos it sure as hell isnt supporting me like kind MNers have been doing. Do MN think there is a lovely kind supportive hospital place waiting for me or something?

I want to go and see the abusive man cos I feel so alone and he might be nice and hug me. I know its not a good idea in othe ways so i came on here to talk about it only to find my thread deleted. I just dont get it, ther people can post about v v dodgy abusive realtionships and get support, why cant i? I cant post in realtionships cos MH is a big aspect, whereas in MH my post is tumbleweed.

This meant a lot and i just do not know what to do, the services wont/cant offer much help, even if they agree to take me on it'll be months til I get an appt and then it'd be fortnightly or something, my GP isnt in today, and even calling MIND etc, its just not the same as this site which is 24/7. What are MN expecting to happen when I seek help? it seems so cruel and really hurting me to delete my threads, what the hell do they think will happen? feel like im being bullied, kicked when im down, cut off as a worthless human being.

2ndSopranosRule Wed 25-Nov-15 16:36:46

Please, please see/talk to someone in RL. Which services have you tried to access? Is there not a locum GP you can see?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Wed 25-Nov-15 16:36:31

I guess you are posting about feeling suicidal in the immediate future? Because those threads are deleted. If you're posting for general mental health and relationship support you should be ok.

MissFitt68 Wed 25-Nov-15 16:37:56

They are being responsible as they previously told you. You need to stick to their guidelines or you are at risk of being banned

MaidOfStars Wed 25-Nov-15 16:59:17


Have you looked around for other forums that might offer more tailored support? MN is big and cool, but there are other places where you might get a more helpful, more empathetic experience?

For example, I've just looked at MentalHealthForum, which has loads of traffic, various sections, chat etc.

I'm aware that you've become frustrated with how people are responding to you here and wondered if somewhere less blunt, less matter of fact, more gentle might suit you?

This is no way trying to encourage you to bugger off. I just want to see you get what you need.

PS. Hope MN don't mind me linking to another forum in this case.

MagpieCursedTea Wed 25-Nov-15 17:05:33

Hello again element, I'm sorry to hear you couldn't get hold of your GP today. Have the surgery booked you an appointment for when s/he is next in?
Can you make some plans for the evening that will keep you distracted so you don't feel you have to contact the abusive man? Maybe watch a boxset or find an online game? I find zoning into a game on my phone to be a useful distraction.

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:09:19

A gp is going to call me back now.
But they cant do anything. mn was with me throuhg the night. It helped.
i have posted on mentl health forum before but it is not the same, i love MN in general cos I feel like it's "people like me". also same as posting on mentla health here, tumbleweed.
Seeking help is reminding me how alone i am. Im really struggling.

hobnobsaremyfave Wed 25-Nov-15 17:10:05

Element there is a reason they are deleting your threads
Speak to them directly
Posting here is not the right place for you at the moment
You need RL help
Mumsnet have taken advice from mental health charities and for the reasons they have stated will continue to delete your threads
You need help from professionals not randoms on the internet

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:12:45

i posted on here originally cos it was the oly place i thought wold get a response asap, was brain fogged up and panicking nd couldnt see straight and was trying to survive.
i have been trying to seek help a long time before it got this bad. People here are real people, the services are busy makes me feel like a waste of time

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:14:08

but what do i do if i cant get professiona help? no-one will answer that.

what do you/they expet to happen? a team of people to show up and whisk me off to kind and supportive hospital?

Mn was there when no-one else was

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:15:34

plus i have been and still am repeatedly contacting professionals/charities/gp etc. cant i post here at the same time?

feel so worthless, like i have to justify myself and beg for ayting

MagpieCursedTea Wed 25-Nov-15 17:17:16

Have MN contacted you about why they're deleting threads?

Cocacolaandchocolate Wed 25-Nov-15 17:19:00

Element did you call samartians?
Please please talk frankly to your GP and relay that you are feeling like this. flowers
Failing that go to a and e if you feel suicidal

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 25-Nov-15 17:20:34

Hi element,

We are sorry that you are in a hideous position and we do want you to receive the help and support that you need.

We would love to offer everyone a space to talk, seek advice and support and be able to speak freely, however, we are not experts in this field and neither are most of the folks on site.

We had a lot of very concerned reports about some of your recent posts and we felt that it had reached a point where the Mumsnet forums could not offer you the support that you needed at that time and so we signposted you to places that could and removed your threads.

Many folks were very worried for you, as are we, but we also know our limits and we really felt that your posts requested a level of support that we are unable to provide.

It is really not often that we reach that conclusion at all, we genuinely feel for your situation and we would love for you to continue posting, but untrained individuals cannot be expected to see your through suicidal thoughts.

This is a fairly hard line to take and one we do not take lightly. We have discussed this policy with MIND and have taken on board advice from MNetters on this. Please do take a look at our webguide for contact information of some Mental Health organisations.

We wish you all best wishes and we hope that you receive some real life help and support soon.

GoneAndDone Wed 25-Nov-15 17:20:58

You can get professional help. Your GP has a legal obligation under the Mental Health Act if they consider you are suicidal.

I've worked in an advocacy type role in mental health services for 6 years and in that time have not come across anyone who is refused help completely.

This must be a misunderstanding and perhaps your illness is making you paranoid.

I'm sorry to be blunt but I remember your previous posts and I know it is simply not possible for NHS services to refuse treatment in crisis.

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:25:06

Gone - what help should they give? Do u have links to offical guides or anthing?
if i turn up at a&E as far as i know they only have to assess me, they dont have to do anyting - there assesment can say "see your gp" and that counts as doing something. Is this right?

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:25:54

MN - i AM cotacting other agencies etc, just posting too

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:28:43

also, gone - im amazed youve ot come across someon in my position before, ive spoken to others like this. Theres a thread in mental health called 'lost souls lounge' if u dont believe me.

primary care say i need secondary care, secondary care say i dont meet the criteria. This isa known gap in services, I was even reading somethig the other day from a consultation in my local area about this - its reconised there is a gap.

Arfarfanarf Wed 25-Nov-15 17:29:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaidOfStars Wed 25-Nov-15 17:30:00


MN are deleting your posts and others like you (I've seen many deletions for the same reasons given to you) on the advice of mental health charities, who feel it is better for posters to talk to someone in real life who is trained to deal with crises, than to talk to people on the internet where very few are qualified to give appropriate advice. MN have their policy, and I believe it's the correct one.

It is not a campaign against you. You are not being targetted. You do not have to justify yourself. You are not forced to jump through hoops when nobody else does. Anyone else who posts threads that indicate an acute mental health crisis is advised to do the same thing - pick up the phone and talk to a person. About mates, about love, about whatever.

Anyone here can talk to you about what to do about Bloke X who's being a dick, but your threads tend to spiral into a discussion about how badly you're coping, and that's what triggers the thread closure and the prompt to speak to The Samaritans. Do you understand the distinction I'm making there?

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:30:52

i feel worthless and have nowhere else to go thoguh
feels likeyour cross with me now, please, i just want to be good enough, im trying my best

MagpieCursedTea Wed 25-Nov-15 17:31:22

You can ask to be admitted. I think if you wrote down everything you've told us here and took it to A&E, you'd be seen by their on call psychiatrist. You might be waiting around a few hours but at least you'd be safe. When was the last time you had medical input? I know you've had a terrible time with doctors but there are some good ones out there. It's difficult to put your trust in HCPs when you've had such negative experiences but don't let it out you off. There is help out there.

MaidOfStars Wed 25-Nov-15 17:32:13

X post with loads, including MN!

elementofsurprise Wed 25-Nov-15 17:32:06

but miad its all stuck togtehr. i cant just not see dick bloke because i dont have any other support. no one else would come and hug me like he did yesterday

Arfarfanarf Wed 25-Nov-15 17:32:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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