Possibly going to be a long post but want to give the full picture.
I am an alcoholic.
My father called me a smelly cunt today because I asked him to buy alcohol for me as I was stinky.
Abusive childhood. By my mother. Father left my mother for ow 20 yrs ago. Still together.
I became homeless in London in june and spent two months homeless there followed by a month homeless in Ireland following siblings bringing me home.
Eventually I gave in and accepted my father's offer of my late gm house which is now his.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, dp is banned due to several beatings.
Dd lives with my mother.
I can't seem to get off alcohol for more than a few days.
Im basically stuck with the following options
A. Catholic rehab. I dont believe in god. B. Staying here while my father calls me a horrible bastard or a smelly cunt. Roof over my head and fuel provided C. Returning to dp in london with risk of further abuse. And potentially homelessness. D. Leave all and sleep on streets.
I suffer from depression. Alcoholism paralyses me.
I think "the catholics" have less ability to hurt you than those who purport to love you.
Doesn't AA have roots in religion?
My pov? A higher view or "spirit" does not need to be the G-d whichever denomination are offering you. Every time they say G-d, you can mentally replace this with "my holy handbag" and jesus for "and thy holy nail polish".
I'd go with the Catholics personally. As others said, you can say anything you want. The spirit can mean anything you want, whether it's wanting to get your life together for your DD or whatever. It doesn't matter. (And I say this as someone who goes to Mass every Sunday.) Please get help.
Sr consiglio and her utter intolerance is the only option. I have been sober attending aa so many times I fail at the step telling me a higher power is going to restore me to sanity. Because it hasn't.
Are you in Ireland still? I did a quick search and just in case helps I found this place which seems residential in Tipperary and the admissions bit says they try to help whatever someone's circumstances: Aiséirí is a nonprofit organisation established to help those battling with addiction and whatever your circumstances are we will endeavour to accommodate you.
I think it's interesting that you say "no higher power will restore me to sanity". Is the drinking symptomatic of your mental health problems or are you "mentally ill" because you drink? Big difference.
I'm borderline, a lot of us drink. Cutting out the drink won't make me sane. I know a borderline women who deals week-in, week-out with people trying to get her off the drink & drugs - she uses to block out the shit in her head.
Do you need to dry out or get help for mental health? Because you said you need help, not to be patronised and that AA didn't work - I personally suspect you drink because you're ill. What do you think?