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Anxiety Support Thread

(56 Posts)
YommyMommy Tue 03-Nov-15 09:14:37

Hello lovely Mummies and especially those who suffer from the dreaded Anxiety disorder!

I just wanted to see if anyone was interested in a threat to vent, post about bad days (and good of course) for those living with anxiety?

I have had it since the birth of my first born in 2008. It all came to a head around 3 years ago - due to physical health too - and I ended up going on medication for 6 months. I had to say this help massively and I have felt much better for a long time.

Fast forward to this weekend...I had a very few busy and stressful days leading up to an event and once the event was over I was honestly floored with anxiety...it just came out of the blue, I am glad to say I am starting to feel better now...but scared about how out of the blue it came sad Does anyone one else obsess that they might just somehow loose all control and loose their mind?? Its the most horrible feeling in the world, although it subsides with the panic...its just not a nice feeling.

Anyway, I just wanted to have a little vent and also started the thread if anyone is interested smile

Thanks for reading this far!
Yommymommy x

holeinmyheart Tue 03-Nov-15 09:55:11

Hi, sorry that you are feeling so bad. There are actually quite a lot of threads about anxiety on Mumsnet. There are a lot of us and you are in good company. Virginia Woolf, Churchill etc.
What has helped me, is firstly to recognise that I am anxious.

Secondly when I have , or know I am going to have a stressful period, that I factor rest in there somewhere. That is, completely quiet days where I do very little and see only the family. Hot baths, ' me ' time etc. Practice Mindful as well
I don't let things get out of hand. I get Beta Blockers and take them as soon as I feel the flutters in my stomach and BEFORE I feel like crying and start thinking ' here we go AGAIN.

I don't volunteer to do too much or overdo it, as everyone suffers. I recognise my limitations.
I exercise every day ( I hate exercise but recognise that walking, swimming, etc does me good) I keep my weight down and try and eat healthily.

Drinking any alcohol, eating chocolate and sugary food makes me worse definately. I still do drink and eat unsuitable stuff ( well I am a bit of a slob) but at least I recognise that they do me no good.

Hope my list helps you.

YommyMommy Tue 03-Nov-15 10:17:13

Thanks so much for the reply Holeinmyheart,

I thinks sometimes it even helps just to know that you are not alone in going through it smile

I usually have a coffee every day, but I recognise that when anxiety is can often heighten the symptoms.

Hopefully I will just start feeling better with every day. smile

I will need to read up on mindful thinking...although it very hard not to think negative thoughts when you are in the throws of an attack :/

Whattheactualeff Tue 03-Nov-15 10:22:21

I was just about to start a thread about anxiety but I think I'll find some support here! My abusive ex lives a mile down the road and I can't afford to move. I'm crippled with anxiety. I don't even leave the house most days and I think it's starting to have a negative impact on my daughter sad
He's also threatening to take me to court atm (no interest in his daughter, just to get to me) and I sit at the bottom of my stairs everyday just waiting for the letters to come through the door. I just want my life back! Any tips on how to deal with it? I can't even eat I'm so anxious.

rundown25 Tue 03-Nov-15 10:29:13

Can I join in the thread. My anxiety is through the roof at the minute. It's awful xxx hugs to you all xxx

holeinmyheart Tue 03-Nov-15 10:41:46

Have you got any music you like? Obviously not something that will make you sad? I play something I like and dance around to it in a mad way. That cheers me up.
I know it is hard getting out when your Dh is a farmer but would anyone babysit?
It does you good to go out together. A film? Or even a walk together.
Try decaf coffee made with hot milk and sweetners. Sucrolose is licensed by the Americans.
You must be incredibly busy anyway with four DCs and being a Farmers wife.

I think you need to talk about how you feel with someone as it usually makes it better. Have you googled your local area for a MUMSNET group. Although your HV will know of a group. They deal with this sort of thing all the time. One of my DILs is a HV. You are not alone !
I really think you might have PND as well.

Our bodies are controlled by our minds so you could try saying to your self..,' ' I loved my Dad and he loved me but he wouldn't want me to be suffering like this! '
Celebrate him instead, what did he have in his life ? He was a man that was loved ! That is worth a lot when you see the threads on Mums net about toxic parents. You know that he would be appalled if he knew you and your DCs and DHs were all suffering because of him. Wouldn't he?
Your children will be witnessing your profound grief and worrying as well about you.
I have just read my post and it is a bit disjointed and rambling . However my my main aim is to make you feel better. I have had too many people I knew well commit suicide and it is devastating for those left behind.
Keep posting !

YommyMommy Tue 03-Nov-15 11:05:24

holeinmyheart, do you have the right thread??? ;)

Welcome whatthe and rundown 25 smile

Whatthe, so sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time at the moment...how awful for you sad He sounds like a really nasty person. Try not to focus on the future, just deal with every day as it comes. If it does end up in court, there will be people to help you get through. What age is your DD?

Please don't worry about your anxiety affecting her, I used to worry about that all the time, but in reality it doesn't affect them at all.

Try to move away from the bottom of the stairs and so something else? Do you like crafts? Scrap booking, baking or the like?

x x x

holeinmyheart Tue 03-Nov-15 11:11:40

whattheactualeff
Your poor thing. A pox on the rat. Mindful would probably help you as well. Because your ex is going to do whatever, whether you are indifferent or in a state. He won't know or feel any sympathy for you as he is a RAT.

So torturing yourself about something or an event that is inevitable is a waste of time as it makes you less strong to cope.

So instead of sitting at the bottom of the stairs do something positive to alter your mood and make you stronger. Put your coat on and get a pedometer and march around the streets as fast as you can for at least three miles. This will make you sweat. Swimming is even better for stress as you can't think whilst you are trolling up and down in a pool with goggles on. ( I am presuming your DC is at school. )
Your GP might be able to get you free exercise classes.
Eat healthily and try and look at good as you can. It cheers you up to look good. It is free to pluck your eyebrows and do your own hair. Don't show the RAT you are down.
See if there are any groups near you that deal specifically with anxiety as it helps to talk to someone. Your HV will know. The GP will know her number.

If you have a spare room, perhaps you could get a lodger so that you have some income. £ 240 a month for a room might help cheer you up. There are a lot of young people who need rooms temporarily. Or look under your local Gumtree.com you can get a letting pack from Smiths. Ask for three months bank statements and work record.
You have lots of rights as a live in landlord. You can get rid of them easily if they don't suit.
I think wallowing is the worse thing to do when you feel anxious. I know it is tempting to think yourself into a bawling mess but it is no way out. Fight!
Hugs everyone, but it is an illness!

YommyMommy Tue 03-Nov-15 11:23:08

Good advise holeinmyheart...

Whatever you do ladies just keep fighting! You will come out the other end x x x

As I'm in Australia I need to go to bed now...I hope the day gets better for you all.

We are in the middle if a thunderstorm at the moment...eek!

x x x

holeinmyheart Tue 03-Nov-15 11:35:21

Oh dear yommy Mommy sorry if I have annoyed you by what I have written. My views are sincerely held though.
I think I am on the right thread as I suffer from anxiety myself.
It comes and goes in intensity, but is always there.
I have also experienced the death of people close to me. So I know about grief. Hence my nickname.
I do recognise the symptoms Of depression and I know that when you are in the middle of it you can't just pull yourself together. ( if only)

However, depression is different from anxiety. I have had both. I think my depression did affect my DCs. If you have a DM who is crying a lot and can't smile and hasn't any energy to do anything and is grumpy, don't you think that affects people around you? I wish with all my heart it didn't but Unfortunately I think it does.

I feel very guilty about my DCs ( I wish I had got help sooner) but I cannot dwell on it because it is done now and I can't alter the past. I try to look forward.

davefranco Tue 03-Nov-15 11:43:17

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YommyMommy Tue 03-Nov-15 11:55:57

holeinmyheart, you didn't upset me at all. Just that one of your posts talked about someone having a DH who was a farmer and 4DC, I couldn't see who had posted that, so though it might have been for another thread smile

Sorry if I, in turn, have upset you...as it wasn't meant that way...at the end of the day anyone is more than welcome to come on this thread regardless of what they are going through. I totally get what you are saying about depression affecting your DC, it must be so difficult in that situation.

Anyway, I need to chill now before sleep. Have a great day x x x

Whattheactualeff Tue 03-Nov-15 11:58:10

Thank you for the advise and sorry to OP for stealing your thread flowers

My little girl is only 1 and as i have no help from ex I have absolutely no free time to myself. I'm just worried that my stress is rubbing off on her and my inability to leave the house some days is affecting her socially.

I rent myself so am unable to let out a room. Thankfully I have an amazing new partner who went through pretty much the same thing with his ex gf and he has full custody of his daughter and no helpline support from his ex.

I've just spoken to my IDVA and am expecting a call from my solicitor soon so they have helped to ease my anxiety a little but it's just so difficult. I don't understand why he's still trying to control my life. We split 6 months ago and he seeasy moved in with his new gf and has a baby on the way. I just want him to leave us alone. I feel sick all the time.

rundown25 Tue 03-Nov-15 23:00:15

Thank you hole in heart. Op she is referring to me I think. I am a farmere wife with 4dcs and recently lost my dad. I started a thread today so think this is the confusion xx

YommyMommy Tue 03-Nov-15 23:37:20

Oh okay, that clears that up then rundown ?? 4 dc, must be stressful in itself, I only have 2 and the drive me around the bend some days!

Whatthe...I'm glad you have a supportive partner...that is a massive help. My hubby is great, but he works away a lot and that, as you can imagine, is when I'm at my most anxious! Lol.

Anyway, woke up this morning feeling positive about the day ahead...smile

Hope you all do too x x

holeinmyheart Sat 07-Nov-15 23:32:46

Gosh sorry, senior moment as I did reply to the Farmers wife thread. I was also having a conversation station with my DH whilst replying. Gives self a slap!

WyrdByrd Mon 09-Nov-15 22:42:57

Can I join you guys? I'm having a horrible time with anxiety at the moment. Have had depression on and off for years but that's been largely maI've been unwell myself for a good month now with a horrible cough & cold and a few episodes of waking up in the night suddenly feeling like I'm drowning.

Went to GP on Friday and was sent for blood tests and chest x ray, more to rule anything sinister out, but am so terrified - on edge all the time, can't sleep & several panic attacks a day. Can't seem to look forward to anything or see an end to feeling like this.

Am already on Cipramil but scared of increasing dose or changing meds in case I feel worse.

DH is not understanding or sympathetic at all, parents are elderly so don't want to worry them and desperately trying to hide how awful I feel from 11yo DD.

flowers and (((hugs))) to everyone else in this shitty, horrible boat.

age - this is a whole different ball game.

I've just turned 40 which has always been an issue for me as two of my friend's parents died at 39/40 and my mum had a breakdown at 42.

I was just getting a handle on things when my old college boyfriend died suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition a few weeks before my birthday - he was 39. The following week my DH & DD missed being caught in the Shoreham Air crash.

Since then a colleague had lost a friend at a similar age, 3 friends have lost parents and two acquaintances been diagnosed with cancer/tumours.

WyrdByrd Mon 09-Nov-15 22:47:11

Bollocks! Even the phone isn't on my side. Let me try that again...

Can I join you guys? I'm having a horrible time with anxiety at the moment. Have had depression on and off for years but that's been largely manageable - this is a whole different ball game.

I've just turned 40 which has always been an issue for me as two of my friend's parents died at 39/40 and my mum had a breakdown at 42.

I was just getting a handle on things when my old college boyfriend died suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition a few weeks before my birthday - he was 39. The following week my DH & DD missed being caught in the Shoreham Air crash.

Since then a colleague has lost a friend at a similar age, 3 friends have lost parents and two acquaintances been diagnosed with cancer/tumours.

I've been unwell myself for a good month now with a horrible cough & cold and a few episodes of waking up in the night suddenly feeling like I'm drowning. Went to GP on Friday and was sent for blood tests and chest x ray, more to rule anything sinister out, but am so terrified - on edge all the time, can't sleep & several panic attacks a day. Can't seem to look forward to anything or see an end to feeling like this.

Am already on Cipramil but scared of increasing dose or changing meds in case I feel worse.

DH is not understanding or sympathetic at all, parents are elderly so don't want to worry them and desperately trying to hide how awful I feel from 11yo DD.

flowers and (((hugs))) to everyone else in this shitty, horrible boat.

holeinmyheart Tue 10-Nov-15 09:26:37

I think constant anxiety is a little talked about illness. It ruins your life if you let it. Because letting it is the key. Depression is anxiety that is out of control. You need Meds for depression but I think with anxiety you can work on it.
I know I am anxious and I accept it. I recognise that I have levels of it and I recognise that anything out of my routine good or bad can trigger a worse episode.
I also understand why I am like this. I had an anxious DM and a Toxic DF. I think it is also genetic as my siblings have been on anti depressants. I have anxious cousins, Damn.
I have listed what I do about it in my other replies.
You have it and it is a bugger, but you can fight it or you can just wallow.
It is hard putting your coat on when you feel bad and going out, but being out, even if it is walking around and round in a circle makes you feel better.
If you can do any exercise that puffs you out produces natural endorphins that definately help.
I like Beta blockers and a good howling cry. Mindful does help with panic.
Hugs to everyone as it is a black dog.

Whatsthatbrightlight Thu 12-Nov-15 07:53:41

Hope you don't mind me joining your thread. I've struggled with anxiety/depression for some time. I was taking ads but managed to wean myself off over the summer. I think now that perhaps I was too hasty. The combination of changing job (to a job I love, still part time but more hours and working every day), looking out for my elderly DM, DS starting secondary school, DH having finally received his redundancy letter (expected, but still...) and day to day life in general is proving to be more than I can cope with. I'm tired all the time but awake in the early hours, tearful and constantly ratty. DH leaves early & not home until quite late in the week so making sure DS is ready for school, doing his homework and gets to his various activities is mainly down to me. Weekends are spent racing around doing all the things we don't have time for in the week. Basically I'm absolutely shattered. I think it's time to see the doctor again and, possibly, accept the fact that ads will be here to stay for a while longer!

holeinmyheart Thu 12-Nov-15 10:39:12

I don't think any one should angst about taking Meds. If your leg was broken and you were in pain you wouldn't just put up with it, would you? You would take pain killers. I don't like taking anything but I can't allow myself to suffer either. It is my mind that is hurting.

I hope in the future that anxiety is researched and some reason found why two people in the same family are so different. One family member can suffer from anxiety and depression, but another not. Mind you everyone in my family suffers.
There must be a reason.
I think I come from a long line of anxious people. We are not unachievers either. I have some incredibly high achievers ( doctors, Professors etc) in my family, but we have suicides and depression as well.
whatsthatbrightlight I think you have a lot on at the moment. I think you can certainly forgive yourself for taking Meds. You deserve some peace from the torment of anxiety. So sorry that you feel like you do. Hugs

LovelyBath Sat 14-Nov-15 14:35:02

Hi there I have anxiety too. Some things which help me are trying mindfulness, swimming and getting outside for walks.. Not so tempting in this weather though. Mine is mainly due to having a physical conditions which can be quite serious and unpredictable which worries me and also having the children alone in case it worsens. I understand it's pretty difficult

WyrdByrd Sun 15-Nov-15 09:54:13

Hi, how's everyone doing?

Weirdly, since posting on this thread I've felt a fair bit better. I guess venting helps and I don't get much opportunity to do that in RL. I've also started taking an extra 10mg of cipramil of an evening. I know going up to 40mg doesn't agree with me but the extra 10mg half an hour before bed seems to help.

YommyMommy Sun 15-Nov-15 23:49:55

Hello Ladies,

How is everyone doing? Just thought I would pop in with a quick update smile

I pretty much admitted on the weekend that I was really struggling with DH being away with work so much so my DS's and I are now staying with my best friend for a few nights until DH gets home. I went to the docs last week and a useless one at that. Was in there for not even 5 mins and left with script for citalopram, 10mg. I took my first pill on Saturday AM and felt totally awful the entire day after it kicked in. Anxiety through the roof, feeling sick, vomiting. Decided on Sunday to take the tablet after dinner and I have to say I felt very little side effects last night smile I slept better, and now eating better. This is obviously not the meds working that quickly, I think its mostly having someone to hold my hand through these hard days. I still wake up in the morning with the dread of the day ahead, but I know that's the anxiety talking. Once I am up and showered I start feeling able to cope with the day a bit better.

I am just taking baby steps at the moment and have decided that the next few weeks are just going to be filled with the essentials of my life, i.e. being a mum, wife and work.

Slowly I will get there...one day at a time smile

This is the second time I have been on meds for Anxiety, I am going to do proper counselling this time and hopefully it will be a major help.

YommyMommy Sun 15-Nov-15 23:53:21

WyrdByrd, glad you have been feeling slightly better too smile

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