Always countess! I have been a mum, a carer, a partner and a staff member for 27+ yrs, I have not really spent much time thinking about me! I think it is easier to use my energy to keep the family on the straight and narrow than to look to deeply at my own issues!
I left my job in the summer, which is a good thing in many ways but I was good at it and it gave me a focus outside of being a parent/carer to Dd3.
It's a huge change, Ineed. I struggled when I gave up my job after dc3 and I saw a CPN who pointed out that what I was going through was a very natural reaction to it - almost grieving for the lost career.
I dont know if we could stretch to private counselling, I dont even know how to go about finding someone who might be able to help, other than going through the GP but as you say that could take a while.
At the time when I walked away from my job I think I was close to a breakdown, Dd3 hadnt attended school for weeks but we couldnt officially remove her from the role at school because the tribunal had ordered the authority to write a statement for her but it wasnt done and we were scared we would put all our hard work at risk if they knew we werent sending her back!
It was incredibly stressful and leaving work was easy at the time but now there is noting that is just for me!
you can usually self refer (no need to discuss with your GP) for psychological help through the NHS (counselling or CBT) after which you'll be given a telephone assessment and placed on the wait list for help. Google IAPT in your area. Lists can be long so if you can manage private therapy have a look BACP for accredited counsellors and the cbtregisteruk.com which has properly accredited cognitive therapists accredited by the BABCP or AREBT.