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Out of my depth and at end of road

(9 Posts)
HormonalHeap Tue 27-Oct-15 14:04:16

Ds 15 has a severe gaming addiction. About to get chucked out of school and kicked dh (his stepdad) in the stomach this morning before trying to throw him down the stairs. His violence has escalated and happens whenever we try and restrict his gaming. He will not see anyone to get help as he thinks the object is to restrict his gaming- the only thing he lives for. Dh and I had an hour with a psychologist who explained to us why this has happened and how he uses it as a means of escape from problems, but without him seeing anyone he can't be helped. I'm terrified that at 15 this is my last chance to stop him beating up some poor woman as an adult and ending up behind bars. Has anyone been through similar or have any experience of addiction in adolescents?

sillymummy11 Tue 27-Oct-15 20:24:23

don't want to read and run…I've not had any experience of this but you might find others in similar situations on the child mental health board? As gaming is so popular and addictive (releases dopamine) there must be other parents who have children like yours. DS is young…you and DH obviously care a lot about him and are seeking help you are doing the right thing.

PacificDogwod Tue 27-Oct-15 20:31:11

This sounds so terribly hard for all of you - sorry you are having to deal with this.

Consider his addiction as just that: an addiction. Whether it's gaming or alcohol or heroin or overeating the psychological and psychiatric aspects of it are really quite interchangeable.
And yes, the psychologist is right, until your DS sees that he need help and he engages in it, there is very little you can do, other than making your you do not enable his addiction. So, if he needs money to play, I'd cut off access to that (disclaimer: I am not a gamer).

The other aspect of his behaviour is the violence and I'd have a zero tolerance approach to that: if he kicks anybody in the stomach/pushes them downstairs/is verbally abusive or threatening, you call the police. Every time.
Give one warning and then do it. And do it again if need be. Ending up frightened in your own home is not acceptable on any level.

Sadly, at 15 you cannot make him do or not do anything, but that should not stop you from standing firm in what standards of behaviour you expect from him.

HormonalHeap Tue 27-Oct-15 20:34:09

Thanks sillymummy I've posted there but didn't get any responses. I think quite a few boys have this but to a much lesser degree. It only becomes a problem when it takes over all other areas of their life. Yes I live for my kids (sadly!) and will do whatever it takes to cure him.

PolterGoose Tue 27-Oct-15 22:07:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HormonalHeap Tue 27-Oct-15 22:18:34

Will have a look Potter thanks

PolterGoose Tue 27-Oct-15 22:21:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Parsley1234 Tue 27-Oct-15 22:27:48

Hello read your other thread. I used to work in addiction and the only unit that I know of who treats gaming addiction is in Amsterdam, you and your partner need to get support as well from somewhere like Alanon. It's a terrible addiction and unfortunately has limited help in this country, there is an amazing woman here from the USA who specializes in addiction who runs workshops or even private sessions not cheap but amazing pm me if you want x

HormonalHeap Tue 27-Oct-15 22:37:21

Thanks Parsley so much, I've pm'd you.

PotterGoose he's at a very competitive school and massively struggling. As the therapist told me, treating the addiction is list like sticking a plaster on it, the underlying problem has to be pinpointed and treated.

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