The Lost Souls Lounge - falling through the cracks of the MH system

[swisscheesetony]

Been "escorted" to hospital by the police chasing your ambulance?

Been told by the psych team you're fine and there's nothing they can do?

Pull up a pew and have a w(h)ine. No judgement.



My name's swiss and I'm borderline. 2 weeks ago I was taken to hospital with a police escort and discharged 12 hours later. A follow-up appointment with the clinical director of the mental health services ticked a box or two but they've no plans to see me again.

I'm off to see my new GP tomorrow to ask for help (attention seek bien sur).

[NanaNina]

Oh god can I join you in the "Lost Souls Lounge" - I have recurring depressive disorder with recurring being the operative word for most of this year. Had the day from hell today and the bad days just go on and on..........the MH service is on it's knees as is most of the NHS. So sorry swiss I do find people with a diagnosis of "borderline" get a raw deal.

[swisscheesetony]

Awesome attention-seeking appt with gp who suggested I leave my county and move to a big city where I could join social clubs and activities.

I like my views. I watch fishing boats, sail boats and the occasional cruise ship. I stomp across deserted beaches and clamber windswept headlands. I see seals, dolphins and keep missing the fucking whales and sharks.

At night I have silence and darkness - but for northern lights.

The city? Give me strength. :(

Are these new nhs guidelines? Send the "strong personalities" (his phrase not mine) to another trust?

[elementofsurprise]

Hurrah, just what's needed, and fantastic thread title. Good to see you again swisscheese.

I was dx'd BPD before 2007 (still in my teens!) when people with the diagnosis were routinely excluded from everything including homeless services. I actually don't think I had enough symptoms to count as BPD, but being treated like scum and left to go through horrible experiences alone leaves a mark - basically if you didn't have BPD you would by the time they'd finished with you, that was how it worked.

Um, yeh, I had a point there somewhere... Oh yeh, I dont think the shite attitude towards so-called BPD is to do with the cuts - it was ever thus, minus a brief period between 2007-2012 (approx) where staff had to pretend they didn't hate us.

Must go now and get on with uni work before I make myself cry.

's all round x

[swisscheesetony]

Hold up, hold up - "excluded from housing"? I need to pick up my jaw from the floor!

nina seems to me we are ALL getting a raw deal. Computer CBT my arse!

[elementofsurprise]

x-post.
What a twerp. Cities are known to be the worst places to live for mental health... it's been studied and everything!
Plus all those people... a higher concentration of idiots/humans to intensify any issues in that department. I moved to a city from a more rural location to meet more likeminded people and it has been a crushing disappointment in that respect (nice in other ways though).
When I have travelled and been in beautiful places, almost alone/without anyone familiar, then that's lovely, that's when the healing happens IMO.
It sounds absolutely lovely where you live - don't give that up due to silly advice! (I wonder if he appreciates it? Bet he's not a nature loving type.)

[swisscheesetony]

I'm so glad you see where I'm coming from! One of the first things I ever read about borderline was about how important it is to have a "view".

GP is not local... Personally I'd rather go bird-watching than around a shopping centre. twitches

[elementofsurprise]

BPD was not considered a "mental illness" nor under the remit of MH team, so if homeless no concession due to MH was made, you were not seen as unwell, or "priority need". (Without being considered "priority need" the council have no duty to house you and can legally send you away to sleep rough).
In fact it was seen as a bit criminal almost - the label actually worked against you. They wouldn't want you in hostels for fear of disturbing the other residents. Fleeing DV or simply having nowhere to go (eg. friend's sofa) was seen as likely to be lies/attention seeking and doors slammed in your face.
I can't write more now, really must get on, but basically the stuff I struggle with day-to-day now I'm pretty sure is all trauma from younger years, when I knew I needed help and didn't get any.

[Monkeybabiess111]

Can I join i have eupd/depression and anxiety.
Here's my list
Not seen a cpn in 8 weeks (will meet new one on Thursday)
Psychiatrist won't even see me despite referral.
Gp has started me on citalopram from pnd.
Other gp when I went back a few weeks ago said I just need to preserve I was googling the best way to die.
The crisis team arranged a support worker who I met twice and I've not heard from Since.

After my diagnosis 2.5 years ago I got discharged and things got better I coped amazingly no self harm no suicidal thoughts until July this year, ever since I feel I've been spiralling I can't go more than a few days without feeling like that's the way to go as no one seems to want to help and self harming, I really feel they think I'm attention seeking but I truly just want to be ok for my dc 4 and 7 months as I'm scared I will mess up there childhoods, I was abused in more ways than one and if I ever put them threw anything I have been threw I would never forgive myself they don't deserve it.
I don't feel I will ever be ok again right now.

[Monkeybabiess111]

Forgot to add I will be referred for psychosexual therapy when I am stable (I don't see that happening for a while)

[NanaNina]

Can I join you please - I'll sit in the corner and cry quietly (which I do about every 2 hours) diagnosis of recurring depressive disorder - gone downhill big time this year. Have lovely CPN but psych has left the Trust and the locum is useless. Told me I'd get better when the summer came!!

So sorry for those of you caring for young children - mine are all grown and gone thank god. A tiny percentage of the NHS budget is allocated to MH - shocking.

[swisscheesetony]

Of course you can nananina - we are the club who'll take anyone as a member.

I'm curious as to which city it is I should move to where the mental health system is paved with gold...

[elementofsurprise]

None of them Swiss, sadly. It's just a game of pass the buck. If you have any friends/family fighting your corner they try to palm you off on them, too. They did this to me then told me I obviously expected too much from friends. Er - no, THEY expected too much from my friends!

Sorry, just feeling so shitty and worthless right now, I can't deal with how they treated me. I'd love just one peron in my life to accept me and not criticise me. Sorry.

[elementofsurprise]

ps. but I do feel a bit better here in the lounge, in company.

[Heaveniswaiting]

It sucks having mental illness and no support doesn't it. Can I join in please? I have psychotic depression which is horrible. I'm currently trying to come off my antipsychotic which is proving really hard as my mood has dropped, despite staying on Sertraline.
I have a good GP but cmht discharged me and won't take me back on as I'm on 'appropriate medication'. I guess they'll accept a referral if I become very unwell but it shouldn't have to get to that point.

[swisscheesetony]

Well quite heaven - it's very much "oh I suppose we'll see you again if you turn up in an ambulance". Not good enough!

I could really use 2 weeks worth of anti-psychotics right now rather than a small handful of dressings to patch myself up with.

Someone recommended the STEPPS programme, told the gp about it and he said something along the lines of "oh I don't want to mess with anything". Wtaf? He was however surprised that mh team had taken my diagnosis at face value (was diagnosed abroad) rather than looking into it.

Can you imagine rolling up at the gp and saying "yeh... Diagnosed kidney failure in 2002, need dialysis twice a week, hook me up" and them just swallowing it?

[Heaveniswaiting]

I know! I need my diagnosis reconsidered as it was given when my dis was a few months old and I had bad PND. He's now 4... So I can't have PND anymore.

[KeepCalm74]

Hello can I join? (Waves to nana) I have recurring major depression and Anxiety disorder - fun, huh?

[TheoriginalLEM]

Hey Nana - i am sorry to read that you are having a hard time of it lately.

I have been fobbed off by the GP too, not doing too bad recently due to having some work but do hit the deck when i don't have any hours. Resigned to being on ADs forever, which is fine but it does bugger all for my labido poor dp.

[elementofsurprise]

Just posted on another thread - here - and made me think.
Someone posted in chat today about something awful happening (finding boss' dead body on arrival at work) and MNers replied saying stuff like "have a hot drink and keep warm" "snuggle up with the dogs" etc. People just... understanding it was horrendous and being there, with a bit of simple practical advice too.

Wouldn't it be lovely if this happened for mental health? When it all got too much people responding in this understanding, 'normal' way? Instead we get police and waiting in A&E and coldness and sent away.

I think I'd be better now if I'd had that. Especially as us supposed BPDers often lacked that which made us ill to start with...

[HugAndRoll]

Thanks for pointing me to this thread Swiss.

After an attempt, and a 10 hour stay in a&e on Saturday night/Sunday morning, I have been yet again left to my own devices.

I've had 2 a&e visits, 6 crisis team meetings, 2 medication reviews, and I STILL haven't been properly taken on by a mental health team. They'll only think to take me on if I die (I know that's impossible, but you know what I mean).

I'm too unstable for primary mental health, I'm not interesting enough for secondary mental health, so I'm stuck in the middle. (As said by psych in a&e.)

I've been left in the care of friends, I'm a single mother (children were not present for attempt, they were at their dad's house), and no-one seems to give a shit. I've had enough, and just don't have the strength to keep going.

[HugAndRoll]

(Those stats are since August by the way, not ever)

[swisscheesetony]

I'm so sorry you're in this pickle hug.

It is really fucking hard being a LP in all of this. Gp said he'd contact social services to see if there's any support they could give me - only thing I can really think of is if they could arrange a taxi home from nursery for ds2. Nursery is 12 miles away and if someone could bring him home it would give me a precious hour for me. God knows if they'll go for if.

[NanaNina]

Hello all - don't know if anyone saw Panorama tonight about the crisis in MH. There was a ward manager telling nurses they had to discharge the person who most well, as there was a desperate need for beds! There was a lot of emphasis on people being admitted on a section of the MH Act. Also there was a woman who had been an IP for 9 months with a diagnosis of Personality Disorder. They got funding for her to move to a PD Unit but she got scared and put herself at risk, so ended up back in hospital. Some poor bloke who had a psychotic illness was a failed asylum seeker and got packed off back to Nigeria. They gave him 2 injections to take with him (don't think he'd get through border control with them) but they told him to go to a clinic and get the injections, but he said he couldn't do that because you had to pay...........so god only knows what happened to him.

Oh god the GP's suggestion swisscheese would be funny if it wasn't so shocking, but if you do discover this city where we can all join suitable activities and get ourselves better, do let us know!! Was it you who got told by a GP to look on the internet at Royal College of Psychiatrists and you would soon get back on track because you were very intelligent. Sorry if I'm mixing you up with someone else.

Monkey could you have PND as your LO is only 7 months. I've often googled ways of dying too - awful isn't it and you're just told to "persevere" - but then I'm not sure what they can do really. The psychiatrist should see you if you've been referred.

Heaven I've heard that psychotic depression is the worst kind. Would it be an idea to go back on the anti psychotic - are you bipolar? I have a friend who is bipolar II and her depressions are awful.

Keep calm Hi - recurring major depressive disorder sucks the life out of us doesn't it. This year has been my worst one - been suffering for 6 years, but this year has been horrendous. I'm more or less ok now because it's midnight but I've been shit all day, and know tomorrow will be the same. I've been offered ECT but backed out at the 11th hour as worried about memory loss.

element I know you're struggling and not getting much, if any support. Glad you've started an OU course though

Hi Lem yes I'm in a bad way...........

Hugandroll so sorry you are struggling too - hope your friends will care for you.

Sorry if I've missed anyone - I don't actually think it's the fault of the professionals to be honest. The amount of money allocated to the NHS is well below other European countries and they are sinking - and a tiny % is allocated to mental health. I blame the damn government who don't give a damn about health (physical or mental) because they all have private health cover so it's not a problem for them. And to make matters worse they are making people with MH issues go through these pesky work capability tests and then finding them fit for work............when some of us can barely get out of bed! Thank god I'm old (71) and retired but I feel so much for people in need of benefits and SO angry at this government.

[elementofsurprise]

Nana How on earth did someone with a PD diagnosis get admitted to hospital for nine months? I genuinely thought they just left you to commit suicide with that dx.

[elementofsurprise]

Oh goodness, so sad, so many people needing love... watching Panorama now. The world is so shite and people are horrible and selfish and uncaring... I want to find a way to give love