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Just need to rant

(3 Posts)
Greebosmum Wed 21-Oct-15 13:29:39

I have posted about my girl on here before. She has a form of bi-polar, and I believe is in an abusive relationship.

I to suffer from anxiety and depression, not as severely has she does, but bad enough sometimes.

This morning I went onto Facebook to find a pm that she sent last night. It said, Mum, contact me as soon as you get this, a major disaster has happened.

No further information. I was worried,(for worried, read panic stricken) but assumed she was at work so after trying various ways of messaging her, we rang her boyfriend (who is currently on leave and looking after the baby).

He said, no, everything was fine and he would get her to ring us.

She did ring, the major disaster was that she thought they may not have enough petrol to get her to work in the morning. She then said boyfriend had given her a load of earache, and that I should have known if it was really important she would have got in touch again, etc etc etc.

I know that is true, and I over-reacted, but she could have easily sent a message saying, it's OK, panic over or something.

I feel absolutely terrible. I am worried she will now have days of verbal abuse from boyfriend, followed by days of silent treatment.

Rationally I know this is not my fault, and that I shouldn't be worrying, but actually I feel sick with aprehension, and can't stop crying.

Is this ever going to end?

Thanks for reading if you have. x

lookingforsunshine Wed 21-Oct-15 14:20:41

That sounds so hard. I really feel for you. Do you have anyone you can talk things through with in rl? I'm not surprised you are feeling upset it sounds so stressful.
Does she talk to you about her relationship? I think all you can do is let her know you don't judge her, that you will be there for her and that she can trust you. Also look after yourself.

Has she been with him a long time?

Greebosmum Wed 21-Oct-15 23:32:32

Thanks for your reply. They have been together for about 18 months. They are all hunky dory for a couple of weeks then she does something 'wrong' and he goes off on one. I have heard him do it and the vile names he calls her and the days of silence tear me apart, goodness only knows what they do to her. It isn't good for my precious little grandson either.

He looked at all her Facebook chats with me at the weekend and although I try to temper my comments it is obvious what I think, so he now ignores me very pointedly.

He is convinced she cheated on him when she was pregnant (she obviously didn't). So this is brought up every time she doesn't do the housework to his standard, or whatever and she is called a F*****g whore, a stupid C**t etc etc, he has said these things when I have been there so what he says when I am not there I can't bear to think.

She is now back at work full time (baby is 5 months old). She gets in from work, walks the dog (very large dog, needs lots of exercise), cooks the tea, takes over baby care and basically does everything whilst being verbally abused.

He looks after the baby by playing on his X Box and sticking baby in his little chair in front of the television.

When I write it all down I don't know why I don't go over there and punch his lights out. Trouble is, I put up with similar treatment for 23 years, so she has learned from me what a relationship looks like. It also means I know that she will not leave him until she sees the light. I just hope it is quicker for her than it was for me.

Sorry, didn't mean to go on for so long. It's good just to write it all down instead of thinking about it all the time.

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