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Depressed DH won't seek help

(4 Posts)
sodonewithit Thu 06-Aug-15 11:06:46

I've tried to be a good wife and support my DH but how do you help someone who won't help them self.

He's had a terrible time recently with work where he's been treated very unfairly. It's affected him so badly. He has just become enveloped in a depression and tbh I can sympathise fully why. However he doesn't seem to want to do anything to fix it. Every suggestion I've offered for him to seek support and advice has just been shot down.

I've history of MH issues myself and this is all getting to me as I feel like I'm taking on all his stress as well as my own. I can't cope with this and am attending GP to try and get support. Apparently this isn't important to DH and he feels I'm just trying to play the victim. Not true. I'm just trying to stop me feeling like I just want to get in the car and drive off never to return.

Our relationship is in bits but I don't want to leave. I love him. But I can't go on as things are.

Has anyone experience of a DP who needs MH support but refuses to get it?

GourmetGold Sat 08-Aug-15 23:21:06

I think many men might be worse than women at admitting they need help? They seem to see it as a weakness to admit they are not coping!
Maybe if he knows you might leave, he will seek help?

ladylinda52 Sat 08-Aug-15 23:44:32

Think Gourmet is right in that men find it harder to ask for help than women do. I've been where you are, where I've felt that the life I was living wasn't what I signed up for , but things have improved vastly over the last few years so I am do glad I stuck around. The hardest bit was at the beginning before he was on med, and the long slog to find the right dosage of the right thing. Hopefully he will seek help, but if not, can you seek help on his behalf from your GP?

sodonewithit Sun 09-Aug-15 15:49:42

Thanks for your replies.

He's just not very proactive in general and think he thinks things will sort themselves out Without needing intervention.

I think it is a bit of a man thing from speaking to my gp. Seems a lot of men have to have appointment made by wife's to get them there. Had thought about just making him an appointment and telling him we are going but I know he'd just refuse to go. It's frustrating.

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