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I really can't cope with Schizophrenic DM anymore, advice would help...

(1 Post)
TiredOfBeingTooSoft Tue 04-Aug-15 12:11:21

I'm just hoping for someone who has any experience with this to answer.
My DM has been ill for 17 years now. She persistently stops medication, and symptoms get worse and worse with every relapse.
I Miscarried last year, she knows this, and has spent all night phoning and texting me that my baby has gone to hell. I'm exhausted. and that has hurt more than anything she's ever said in her delusions before.
Last year me and OH had Police on our door after she phoned them to say my OH he had killed me, and she could see me dead on the sofa (was during M/C, I was depressed and didn't get up to answer the door because she was shouting through my letterbox). SS came 4 days later, because she phoned our DCs school, and played the concerned grandmother, because I wouldn't open my front door to her shouting.
I want to sever all ties and OH has said he will support any choice I make. I've tried and tried to help her, since I was a teenager. I'm in my 30s now, and she's worse than ever. I gave consent to her being admitted into a local mental health unit, but she appealed it at tribunal, they let her out hmm and she was banging on my door at 4am the next morning saying people were spying on her outside her house and she needed to live at my house not a chance
We (OH and our DCs) moved away a couple of years ago, it got too much. I have never told her where we live, but i've kept in touch through phone calls, and travelling to her home town to meet in a neutral place for lunch.
Now after this, saying that about my lost baby in a vicious rage has finished me off. I just can't do it anymore. Would I be a bad person to just change my numbers, and not have her in my life? I feel bad because I know she is ill, and I get emotional blackmail from her DM (my elderly Grandma) saying she's got nobody else anymore and I have a duty to not abandon her. But her illness is making my family suffer. What would you do? Thank you for anyone who could offer advice x

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