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introvert issues

(9 Posts)
gg1234 Sun 02-Aug-15 22:14:30

Hi all
I have been lately just stuck in my house with my ko and I just don't feel like going out .I have so much of house chores to finish and feed my lo that I feel both mentally and physically exhausted .I miss play dates and when friends call I always make an excuse of not going out .I really fear my lo will be effected by this but in general I don't want to meet people what should I do or am I depressed ?

Chiggers Tue 04-Aug-15 16:20:02

I'm the same OP. I am feeling so physically exhausted that I don't know how I get through each day, never mind anything else. I really don't feel like going out and like you, I make excuses not to go out unless I feel physically fit enough to go out. I'm not disabled, but I get physically exhausted very easily. I have become very introverted because of it.

When my DC were little, I was very introverted back then, but went to mother and toddler groups for my DC sake, so they could socialise with other DC. I stuck with the friend I went with as I was very wary about talking about anything to the other mums, other than the weather/national news etc, just basic small talk. I didn't feel that I knew anyone well enough to talk much, so I just kept to myself and my friend.

DS and DD are very sociable, but I rarely go out unless I absolutely have to as I hate being around groups of more than 3 or 4 people. I just get incredibly uncomfortable and find it hard to talk to people.

gg1234 Fri 07-Aug-15 00:02:51

What's the solution dear .we are doing self harm don't you think .i am more unsocial due the fact that I am too not into employment and there is nothing to talk about really .i think we should not live like this

Chiggers Sat 08-Aug-15 19:51:42

I think we are harming ourselves, in a sense. The obvious solution would be to get out and socialise, but the problem is that many people may think that it's an easy answer. It's not. It makes us uncomfortable, but I suppose we sometimes need to push ourselves out of our comfort zone, in order to learn how to manage our fear regarding this situation IYSWIM.

Sazzle41 Sun 09-Aug-15 19:31:08

I feel exactly the same but once i get out the door i get a burst of energy i didnt know i had. Its just the act of getting out the door. Some days it can take all day to work up the will to but i always feel better when i do. Things seem worse i think if you shut yourself away , I think it makes me more introvert than I already am as I just sit and dwell. I am a worrier anyway and sitting in give me more time to do that.

Chiggers Sun 09-Aug-15 19:57:27

I think keeping ourselves occupied with daily chores can help. Preferrably outdoor ones such as mowing the lawn, planting flowers or growing your own fruit and veg. The fruit and veg are particularly good as you generally hope to have an end result that you can harvest and eat.

DH and I do this and have done for years. The local rubbish collector used to come to us for our herbs and everything we grow is organic. It's good for the soul I think. That something that is very satisfying. Each person will have different things they can do that will bring satisfaction to them.

Another suggestion would be to get a dog. Then there would be no excuse to stay in all the time as they'd need walking at least once a day. I did that and ended up with 2 staffords. They are the most incredibly loving dogs you could come across, very entertaining and fantastic with DC. I'm in a better frame of mind now than I ever was due to needing to walk my 2 dogs twice a day, every day, come rain, hail, sun or snow.

gg1234 Tue 11-Aug-15 18:45:23

Chiggers : I cant keep a dog .I can barely manage my kid and myself to be honest .Its good that you found out your way .
I think looking for employment would be something I would consider in long run .The whole aura of being at home 24 by 7 makes me sick .I am not a homely person :P .
These days I have started taking my boy out for sometime to children centers which makes him and as well as me happy but I avoid all my frds since I think I need space and I want to hide from rubbish talk .
gg

Chiggers Thu 13-Aug-15 18:50:07

It's good that you're getting out and about. There's nothing worse than staying indoors all day, and the socialising for your LO is good as well. I also think it helps to get into some sort of routine.
Like: **am - get up,
**am - get washed/showered, dressed and teeth brushed
**am - have breakfast
**am - FREE TIME (can go to groups or do chores)
**pm - Lunch
**pm - FREE TIME (can go out or do chores)
**pm - Teatime
**pm - FREE TIME (can stay in, PJ's on and watch a movie)
**pm - Bed

I've only put that down as an example, but you can use that as an interim routine for your day. You may already have a routine, and that's good, but it's roughly what I do every day and the only addition to that routine is that I walk my dogs first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

Chiggers Fri 14-Aug-15 19:56:46

It's not such a good thing to avoid your friends though. Do they know why you're avoiding them? If you haven't let them know why you need your space ATM, they may well decide to walk away from the friendship. By informing them about your circumstances (you can decide what info to give to what friend), you're allowing them the opportunity to understand why you need your space at times, but also that they can help you should you need them.

Obviously those who weren't good friends, will walk away from the friendship and leave you with those who want to help you through this.

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