Making it up ?

[vxa2]

I have been suffering from acute anxiety for about 9 months- have always been anxious and have several episodes since my twenties including severe PND which resulted in time in hospital. I have been taking citalopram along with quetiapine which had horrible side effects. Am now taking citalopram with rispiridone.

The issue is that I keep feeling I am making it all up and possibly just attention seeking even by posting this. Does that make any sense to anyone ? The whole thing is so exhausting it wouldn't make any sense to make it up but the doubt just keeps popping into my head.

[NanaNina]

NO you're not making it up vxa but because mental illness is such a torment, it can make us think things that aren't true - just another little trick to confuse us.......and NO this isn't attention seeking at all. In fact most of us suffering from MH stuff try to avoid people when we're at our worst. Sorry that's a generalisation but think it might be true, though different for everyone of course.

Do you mind if I ask if there is a psychotic element to your MH issues - it's just you mention meds that I think are anti-psychotics, but I might be wrong.

Yes mental illness is exhausting, totally and utterly exhausting. I suffer from depression and anxiety that can be severe and meds don't stop the fluctuations which keep on coming, more and more as I get older........hope you have some RL support.

[vxa2]

No problem with asking. They are both antipsychotics but I am taking a low dose 2mg a day of the rispiridone as a kind of boost to the citalopram. I am very lucky as I have a great GP and CBT counsellor who I have been seeing since the PND. I didn't like the psych so made me take the quetiapine so have just had my first appointment with a new one who has put me on the rispiridone. Having all that support makes me feel even more guilty but I know I am very fortunate.

[vxa2]

I meant psych who made me take