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How to forget and to move on

(2 Posts)
pumpkinpie5 Fri 31-Jul-15 23:40:38

I have posted before about struggling to move on after an abusive relationship. I don't really know what I am looking for other than maybe some motivation or some positive stories from people who have managed to acheive this. To sum up the way I feel right now- alone, terrified of coping on my own, and although it sounds dramatic, I'm afraid that this is it for me.
I have come to realise I have put ten years into a relationship that was completely totally wrong, all with the homes of building a solid family. I am now on my own with dd, not close to parents, have little interaction with extended family - all the things that I wanted.

I have weekly counselling sessions to address my relationship issues and my depression but I feel totally completely stuck. Yes, I could go and meet someone but I am totally clueless about a healthy relationship and tbh terrified of being intimate with someone ever again due to past issues.

Is there any point? I'm fed up with being fed up , and totally frustrated with myself for feeling so miserable, negative, and stuck. I feel like giving up.

Spickle Sat 01-Aug-15 17:59:08

I am sorry you've had to go through this. It sounds as though you've been extremely busy removing this abusive relationship from your life and that has taken guts and determination. You have now achieved all that you wanted but it all feels flat? A bit like major events in people's lives, e.g. a wedding to plan, a bereavement, dance show, competition, charity walk etc where your time is taken up organising everything and then afterwards, nothing.

You do need something else to fill your time with, something that makes you want to get up in the morning and smile again - not necessarily a new relationship. Perhaps a new job or hobby where you will meet new people and potential new friends? There wouldn't be any need to be terrified of an intimate relationship then and perhaps it would be a good idea to cultivate friendships rather than anything more, at least not for a while.


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